WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL????

Has anyone noticed how us human beings have less and less ethics and morals? Ok fine, Im not that knowledgeable to know that much. But HERE in Brunei..... I've noticed that there are less and less nice people around. Maybe its cause I'm older and the older you get you forget to be nicer to people cause you're too concerned about what you don't have?

Maybe I'm being a bit too vague. I'm not talking about how religious you are, how many times you pray a day. Thats between you and god.

My point is that we are increasingly forgetting to be nice to others, that we are too concerned with life and surviving that we forget that we are only one person in a billion.

Why do I say this......

I have never been plagued with so many thoughts of Black Magic and these people making up stories about that person and negativity, this person has that, that person said this.... WHATS GOING ON PEOPLE.......

I ask you, why are there more and more people in Brunei that once they dont get what they want they turn into absolute idiots. The best example, is all those girls or guys out there that are so selfish, once they dont get that person that they want, or the person has moved on, they resort to black magic and lies and they set out to ruining these peoples lives.

The funny thing is, its usually malay people doing it to other malay people, it saddens me, that instead of us trying to help each other out, we have to destroy each other. Whats the purpose of this?????

For MONEY? once you die you cant bring it with you, all you're left with is white cloth and dirt.

For FAME? For POWER? Its pathetic and sad. How are we supposed to help our nation succeed if we cant even live with each other.

What happened to the Malay people that used to just help each other out? It still happens. But less and less, we're more interested in gossip and searching for the bad..............

Happiness is a choice you make everyday. How can you be happy when you mind is consumed with thoughts of revenge, jealousy and envy. How can you live like this?

Islam is a life of peace? Isnt it? How peaceful are you when you have to resort to backstabbing and nonsense.

So my opinion is this, dont use religious symbols to prove that you're a good person, cause anyone can wear a tudong and grow a beard. Its all about how you treat people around you too.

The secret

With some of the responses Ive been getting I thought I'd add on.

I've tried many many diets, exercising and even tried to lose weight on pills. The ones that make u empty ur bowels almost every second of the day, or the ones that collect all the oil from ur food and releases it down the other way. SERIOUSLY uncomfortable.

I have even tried the one that supposed to raise your metabolic rate, make it faster. All it did was make me jittery, anxious and extremely irritable, so I stopped that.There was another one where you had to take it before six in the morning or else you wouldnt be able to sleep come midnight.

Pills, diet and exercise, everybody else who did it, the weight just fell off them. So imagine this, you're all trying to lose weight as a group and u do everything ur friends do, but you dont lose an ounce. they keep getting slimmer and slimmer...... So you get angry and disappointed with urselves. then you eat to feel better. I did. So eventually when everybody else is skinny, you're still fat or even fatter.

This was me. NO JOKE.

everytime I would try to stick to a diet everytime I told myself I shouldnt eat that it made me want to eat more. Ever been there?

I have recently lost weight and I did it not cause I dieted. I just didnt put so much importance on food as i used to. Instead of putting alot of effort to eat, like thinking bout it, what to eat, how it would look and smell and taste, I got lazy. hahahahaha. I decided, for some reason, I dont know what, but I changed my perception of food. I decided that food doesnt make me feel as good as it used to. I used to eat and automatically feel better. Now I eat, and it doesnt excite me as much as it used to..... This may sound like crazy talk, but I am deadly serious.


So for me, the secret to losing weight, is not to think about it, cause the amount of pressure we feel when we think about it too much makes it too bloody damn hard.


So I dont eat to feel better, I eat cause my body needs the energy. and I exercise or sing when I need to feel better.

some tips

ok. There have been several blogs linking me. Now I feel the undeniable urge to impress you guys who have kindly spent time and effort learning how to link blogs and actually thinking my blog deserves to be linked... GOSH.

Although I must warn you, I am a 30 year old with an open mind and an open mouth. I believe in honesty or anything as close as possible to the truth, cause if you're not being yourself, then who else can you be. Or something smart like that.

Alright, you have been duly warned.

Today, ladies we will embark on a journey. Almost a trip into the secret lifestyle of spydom , there's a big word you can use, espionage or something. anyways......

Those who have met me or seen me must have realised that Im not what you would call petite, small, delicate, fragile... ladylike???? Well lets not go on..... I am according to local standards a giant, anak jin, bigger then the most..... I grew up talking to tops of white tudongs, not faces, didnt help that my best friend back then was not exactly 5 cats..... Sorry Naj... I LOVE YOU........

My point is, no matter what size you are or want to be or dream to be something you will learn is that nobody actually likes how their body looks, well maybe 1 out of 10 do. The rest of us NORMAL people think we're too fat, too tall, too skinny, too short, too what ever la ah.....

So instead of wanting to be like someone else, take a look in the mirror, ya maybe you're not so excited bout that person looking back, but hey its time to accept what we are instead of wasting time and effort with worrying..... If you've noticed worrying is a long and tedious process that doesnt actually help much.....

Alright, So I have always had a problem with weight, I have at one time been more than 80kg... think I was close to 85kg.But I didnt want to be stuck in clothes that an elephant would wear. I was already fat, and then the way I dress should make me feel pretty what.

I would get dressed up everyday feeling like this, with my weapons of makeup and imaginary confidence, I would walk out the door 'FEELING' like this




Even though I actually looked like this



and once I go meet normal sized chicks I felt like this....................





I think what truly changed my mind about the way I should dress, was I met this lady and she wasnt at all at her ideal weight, if you know what I mean, but she would still be dressed in the lastest fashions, beautiful hair, beautiful makeup, she just looked great..... And because she didnt care she wasnt perfect, neither did I. I didnt even notice her body size. It faded. So I wanted to be as confident and as beautiful as her.


But I still needed my weapons. So here are my weapons of confidence.

1. Always wear HIGH HEELS, with long pants, they make you look taller, and taller people are supposed to be heavier right??? So you look like you're lost a few kg already.

2. Always be comfortable in what you wear, if your friends say it looks good try it, but if you really aren't brave enough dont.

3. BIG BELTS, oh these things saved me so many times, If you're smart and you position the belt properly, you can hide that bulge, I do it ALL THE TIME!!!!

4. SAFETY PINS, when you dont have a perfect body, your body bulges and moves in ways that clothes are not designed to accomodate. believe me, Ive tested this. So when those tops you have bulge a bit at the buttons, bring on the safety pins honey.......

5. TOO TIGHT clothes, even thin people look dumb when their clothes are too tight. really you want to bring attention to those places??? dress to accentuate your good points. Cause as I KNOW, tight jeans leave a extra bulge of fat up there, so when you sit it looks worse. I used to accentuate the top bits just to draw attention from my belly underneath.....

6. Last but not least, love who you are, cause no matter what, people are always gonna try to bring you down no matter what you look like or have achieved.



If thats not enough, your mental strength is the best bet, Just keep an image of this little lady down here and she might give you enough strength to battle those comments, looks and insults





told you REAL WOMEN WEAR BIG BELTS!!!!!!

Blame Games......

Wow, I was shocked...... Firstly, that we now have the basketBALLS to have such a headline.... Well done. Hahaha.... But as we read, they were blame games weren't they. I so enjoyed the article, how our athlete has been training since March 2008. WOW!!!! March!!!! Thats like.... WOW SIX MONTHS.... Come on people, do we seriously believe that athletes are formed from just natural talent.

Those athletes we see on tv, the big names, I am sure that these people have been training since they were discovered out of school. Selection processes and training of athletes are long, strenuous challenges.

But you think I speak out of an opinion based on no experience.

I was fortunate enough to train with some of these guys. And they are the unsung heroes of our country. These guys sacrifice their lives, studies and any steady advancement in work. Why? Cause to be at a fitness and skill level anywhere close to even SEA Games standards apatah lagi the OLYMPICS are days and nights of training, once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once at night. To reach the mental strength these athletes have or are trying to achieve is unbelievable. Have you ever watched them train, they are pushed to their limits every single training session. But to them its all part of perfecting your sport. What they live for, the chance to represent their country, to bring glory back home in the form of round metal objects.

And what do they recieve..... oh oh ..... they get empty promises. Ive heard that every medal won, gold is supposed to get you $ 3, 000.00. silver is $ 1, 500.00. In the SEA Games. Please!!!! athletes are still waiting for payment from 2003 and in some cases even longer.

They get an allowance of $ 300.00 a month. Well thats what it was few years ago. And even that was usually not received.

We are a nation of smart, intelligent people, right? We know that a healthy person needs a healthy diet. Especially people that use their bodies... RIGHT???? Well wouldnt you like to know, that they are asked to stay at hostels, so that they can have nothing better than to train, which they are happy to do. But do they get food? NO!!! Do they even get a food allowance... NO!!!! So they live on maggii mee..... ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!!

LOOK, enough with the blame games. If you want our athletes to get better, faster, stronger... then they need support. They need to be appreciated for what they represent, tirelessly working day and night to represent a country that doesnt give them the respect and recognition they deserve.

How do you support yourself on $ 300 a month. In singapore, gold medal winners are paid ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Pro Athletes all over the world are revered and respected. To be a Professional Athlete is considered a good choice of career. and you make money. even the wonderful people filling up our gas tanks make $ 1, 000 or more a month.

all Im saying is, if you want our athletes to be able to perform at high levels, they cant worry about anything but their sport. Not everyone can pull of a 8-4 job, not everyone can write music, or be doctors or teachers. some special individuals are just born with every single characteristic to win every race physically and mentally, but since you cant make money as an athlete, they get stuck in jobs that bores them to death.

So instead of not signing them up or waiting 6 months before a major competition to train, lets start now...... We have four years. Lets start now dont wait. We have the athletes, and Bruneians are stubborn when they want to be so determination is not a problem. We are descendants of warriors. That blood still flows through many of us.