new meaning.......

Its so weird, yesterday, I was awake for atleast 20 hours, from 8am to 4am, and usually i would smoke at least 2 sticks an hour, that would mean 40-50 cigarettes, meaning, 16 a pack, 3 packs man..... but since Ive decided that i have to cut down, I actually only smoked one pack, and keej took one..........

Of course cigarettes have taken on new meaning for me, cause, Im so aware of it now, like I never used to remember wen I had my last one and Id be constantly looking at my pack and if it was close to empty, meaning, if it was only half full, id go buy some more...... now its like, Im trying to pace myself............ Well im very close to being a chain smoker...... hardly a breath between sticks....... But Im doing this...... its funnily not as hard as I thought it would be....... hahaha........ fingers crossed......... 12 years..... so this is a big step.....

I have nonsmokers saying to me all the time, just quit, just quit, you guys dont understand, Im not sure u ever will.......... I am addicted.... But its all in the mind, this i must definately agree to.........

So Im hoping, that this will one day be a memory....... and pictures like this, is all they r supposed to be jus pictures..... hehehe... I know im being melodramatic, but u know what.... I can, I am and I will be for how ever long I wanna be...... hahaha

alrighty then....... I am loving this whole heroes thing, everybody wants to feel special, I guess its just that we all fight to keep our individuality, try to different, stand out, essentially, FEEL n BE SPECIAL..... this is why this whole HEROES thing works.. well thats just my point of view.........

oh watever..... im just really loving it right now.............