some thoughts

GOOD

hey everyone, its christmas, yeah yeah, i know, but I've only recently come to a revelation....

I was supposed to go to KL on the 24th, then I got to talking to my cousin, when she heard I was going, she was like, whoa, christmas at my house remember.

den it hit me, I have spent almost every christmas with Ka Rachel, Aunty Wendy, Jenny, Paula ( whoevers in town at that time), not forgetting nana....... Mebe christmas to some is not to be celebrated, but these guys have always included me, ever since I well.... forever.. How could I forget....

There was a time when aunty wendy would tuck me bed and she would always say 'goodnight, sayang sausage' just before she would switch the light off. My second home and like real sisters, ka racheal, jenny and paula would love me, teach me, hate me, tease me in their own way.

Me and Ka Racheal was always singing or something stupid, Jenny.... well hello shes the nerd, so we would read or she would get me to write stories, or anything to shut me up and to leave her alone. Me and Paula would bake, or she'd be the hair dresser or something. These three have literally made me into the person I am today...... hahaha......

Even the late great poppa, I cant believe I didnt see him the last year he was around, and i knew he was sick. SELFISH!!! I know, but I was young and stupid.........

Nana, that woman, scary la, but smart and insightful..........

They taught me table manners, hahaha, yes I can now conduct myself properly when required. WHAT???? They spoiled me silly, I guess mebe this year since I can finally afford it, I should return the favour before its too late........ I mean how many chistmases have i been bought so much stuff..........

The last year I was exempted from buying presents cause daddy had just passed away. But they still wanted me there...... So I have finished my shopping, too much but still will never make up for what I have recieved.... SENTIMENTAL eh.......


BAD

man........ I so do not understand some people, I hate fake attitudes, false behaviour, masks, what ever........ What is so annoying is that Im starting to do it....... I hate it...... KARMA baby, never say never..... cause den u'll definately do it. The downfall of all judgemental people........ am I not human????


But yeah, there r some out there that hide behind manners, this sucks huge lemons ok!!!!

So when is it ok to be polite? and the line where ure lying to urself and the person in front of u.......... Does anyone know???


Im so tired of having to read between the lines, recognise body language, nuances in voices, mixed messages, double meanings, the list goes on...... OK fine, Im not asking for a 'CONFRONTATION' how bout u stop using the metaphors, flowery words, innuendos, hints, bla bla bla.......


Look, if ure nice to me Im nice to you, but im not stupid ok, I hate this obligation to be nice just cause ure being polite..... UGH.........


bottom line is, if u dont wanna even be friends den dont even pretend u wanna meet up in the future. Uve all heard it, 'Gimme a call yeah, we 'MUST' hang out'... skali...... nada!!! ,mana.....


hehehehe....... ok fine, Ive done it too.... but I will make a concious effort to stop. hehehehe...

YES, Ive definately missed blogging.........

see ya.......