Hiya everyone, I'll be at http://howimfeeling.wordpress.com/ for the time being......

See ya

i think i might be moving.............

100 days

wow.... its been a hundred days, I went to his house expecting to see him smoking in his kitchen, but all there is, are photos and fuzzy fuzzy memories. It's just so final.... thats exactly it... DEATH is so FINAL......

His children are still growing up as quick as they can...... Life goes on, even after you have.....

I just wish I could be there more.....

Thanks for all the comments. How do you guys find me???? Its nice to know that you guys think Im important enough to link and comment. Even Constructive criticisms are welcomed with open arms.

First things first, have you heard of Aunty May? Funny right. I'm so HAPPY that Bruneians are willing to laugh and not be too sensitive. I'm sure you guys wouldnt have been so open minded 5 years ago. It says alot about where we Bruneians are now. We're willing to support our beliefs, even if it is in the form of smses and logging on to the webcam. ITS GREAT!!!! A few years ago, I'm sure there would have been comments of, 'eh, nda bisai eh.' OR 'Capi-capi jua, siapakan tu???'

So CONGRATS or KUDOS( everybody seems to like using this word so I will too, what is a kudo exactly?) to KRISTAL FM for being brave enough to give Bruneians something different. Oh Gosh, I love you to PELANGI, National, Pilihan..... No offence.

I'm hoping this is the start of something wonderful, Bruneians are supporting local talent? YES this is all part of it. Lets bring back some healthy competition, which will only be a breeding ground for bigger better shows and radio.......... YES YES YES!!!! But play fair, dont be jealous and bitch, do something better. Dont just say who's better prove it. Without insults and harsh comments. Lets get rid of that part of us. Its regressive and STUPID NO SCHOOL!!!!

ALRIGHT, I am now a stepmother, so I am starting something new, it will definately pop up once in awhile, presenting.................

MEMOIRS OF A STEPMOTHER

wow, its the fasting month tomorrow. Are you excited? I am..... Its funny how it seems much more fun when you have kids. Its so ridiculous when you think about it. Me and my cousins were complaining a few years ago how boring, how hot, why do we need to do this..... BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

Now the baju's are made.... (I used to run around like a headless chicken a week before trying in desperation to find a tailor to make even one), shoes have been bought or will be, cakes, celebrations..... Its nuts, Ive even bought hair accessories for my little girl to wear.

I've only realised how much effort my mum makes every year. I took it for granted that every family makes such an effort. Ive suddenly realised that my mum makes puasa such a special month that we look forward to it. Maybe cause she starves us from salt and anything unhealthy, this is the time when MY MUM will be cooking all her great dishes.... Im so excited....

Ive realised that because of my mum, we as a family have taken to puasa and raya as almost christmas, without the presents and the christianity. Its a time for family, its wonderful... and tiring....

My point is, now ive got two kids, and I want them to feel this way too. Here my friends is the problem. Oh well, fingers crossed.

SELAMAT BERPUASA TO EVERYONE

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL????

Has anyone noticed how us human beings have less and less ethics and morals? Ok fine, Im not that knowledgeable to know that much. But HERE in Brunei..... I've noticed that there are less and less nice people around. Maybe its cause I'm older and the older you get you forget to be nicer to people cause you're too concerned about what you don't have?

Maybe I'm being a bit too vague. I'm not talking about how religious you are, how many times you pray a day. Thats between you and god.

My point is that we are increasingly forgetting to be nice to others, that we are too concerned with life and surviving that we forget that we are only one person in a billion.

Why do I say this......

I have never been plagued with so many thoughts of Black Magic and these people making up stories about that person and negativity, this person has that, that person said this.... WHATS GOING ON PEOPLE.......

I ask you, why are there more and more people in Brunei that once they dont get what they want they turn into absolute idiots. The best example, is all those girls or guys out there that are so selfish, once they dont get that person that they want, or the person has moved on, they resort to black magic and lies and they set out to ruining these peoples lives.

The funny thing is, its usually malay people doing it to other malay people, it saddens me, that instead of us trying to help each other out, we have to destroy each other. Whats the purpose of this?????

For MONEY? once you die you cant bring it with you, all you're left with is white cloth and dirt.

For FAME? For POWER? Its pathetic and sad. How are we supposed to help our nation succeed if we cant even live with each other.

What happened to the Malay people that used to just help each other out? It still happens. But less and less, we're more interested in gossip and searching for the bad..............

Happiness is a choice you make everyday. How can you be happy when you mind is consumed with thoughts of revenge, jealousy and envy. How can you live like this?

Islam is a life of peace? Isnt it? How peaceful are you when you have to resort to backstabbing and nonsense.

So my opinion is this, dont use religious symbols to prove that you're a good person, cause anyone can wear a tudong and grow a beard. Its all about how you treat people around you too.

The secret

With some of the responses Ive been getting I thought I'd add on.

I've tried many many diets, exercising and even tried to lose weight on pills. The ones that make u empty ur bowels almost every second of the day, or the ones that collect all the oil from ur food and releases it down the other way. SERIOUSLY uncomfortable.

I have even tried the one that supposed to raise your metabolic rate, make it faster. All it did was make me jittery, anxious and extremely irritable, so I stopped that.There was another one where you had to take it before six in the morning or else you wouldnt be able to sleep come midnight.

Pills, diet and exercise, everybody else who did it, the weight just fell off them. So imagine this, you're all trying to lose weight as a group and u do everything ur friends do, but you dont lose an ounce. they keep getting slimmer and slimmer...... So you get angry and disappointed with urselves. then you eat to feel better. I did. So eventually when everybody else is skinny, you're still fat or even fatter.

This was me. NO JOKE.

everytime I would try to stick to a diet everytime I told myself I shouldnt eat that it made me want to eat more. Ever been there?

I have recently lost weight and I did it not cause I dieted. I just didnt put so much importance on food as i used to. Instead of putting alot of effort to eat, like thinking bout it, what to eat, how it would look and smell and taste, I got lazy. hahahahaha. I decided, for some reason, I dont know what, but I changed my perception of food. I decided that food doesnt make me feel as good as it used to. I used to eat and automatically feel better. Now I eat, and it doesnt excite me as much as it used to..... This may sound like crazy talk, but I am deadly serious.


So for me, the secret to losing weight, is not to think about it, cause the amount of pressure we feel when we think about it too much makes it too bloody damn hard.


So I dont eat to feel better, I eat cause my body needs the energy. and I exercise or sing when I need to feel better.