into the depths of oblivion

2008-10-07T10:47:00.002+08:00

Hiya everyone, I'll be at http://howimfeeling.wordpress.com/ for the time being......

See ya

2008-10-07T10:07:00.000+08:00

i think i might be moving.............

100 days

2008-09-15T13:09:00.002+08:00

wow.... its been a hundred days, I went to his house expecting to see him smoking in his kitchen, but all there is, are photos and fuzzy fuzzy memories. It's just so final.... thats exactly it... DEATH is so FINAL......

His children are still growing up as quick as they can...... Life goes on, even after you have.....

I just wish I could be there more.....

2008-09-01T11:21:00.002+08:00

Thanks for all the comments. How do you guys find me???? Its nice to know that you guys think Im important enough to link and comment. Even Constructive criticisms are welcomed with open arms.

First things first, have you heard of Aunty May? Funny right. I'm so HAPPY that Bruneians are willing to laugh and not be too sensitive. I'm sure you guys wouldnt have been so open minded 5 years ago. It says alot about where we Bruneians are now. We're willing to support our beliefs, even if it is in the form of smses and logging on to the webcam. ITS GREAT!!!! A few years ago, I'm sure there would have been comments of, 'eh, nda bisai eh.' OR 'Capi-capi jua, siapakan tu???'

So CONGRATS or KUDOS( everybody seems to like using this word so I will too, what is a kudo exactly?) to KRISTAL FM for being brave enough to give Bruneians something different. Oh Gosh, I love you to PELANGI, National, Pilihan..... No offence.

I'm hoping this is the start of something wonderful, Bruneians are supporting local talent? YES this is all part of it. Lets bring back some healthy competition, which will only be a breeding ground for bigger better shows and radio.......... YES YES YES!!!! But play fair, dont be jealous and bitch, do something better. Dont just say who's better prove it. Without insults and harsh comments. Lets get rid of that part of us. Its regressive and STUPID NO SCHOOL!!!!

ALRIGHT, I am now a stepmother, so I am starting something new, it will definately pop up once in awhile, presenting.................

MEMOIRS OF A STEPMOTHER

wow, its the fasting month tomorrow. Are you excited? I am..... Its funny how it seems much more fun when you have kids. Its so ridiculous when you think about it. Me and my cousins were complaining a few years ago how boring, how hot, why do we need to do this..... BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

Now the baju's are made.... (I used to run around like a headless chicken a week before trying in desperation to find a tailor to make even one), shoes have been bought or will be, cakes, celebrations..... Its nuts, Ive even bought hair accessories for my little girl to wear.

I've only realised how much effort my mum makes every year. I took it for granted that every family makes such an effort. Ive suddenly realised that my mum makes puasa such a special month that we look forward to it. Maybe cause she starves us from salt and anything unhealthy, this is the time when MY MUM will be cooking all her great dishes.... Im so excited....

Ive realised that because of my mum, we as a family have taken to puasa and raya as almost christmas, without the presents and the christianity. Its a time for family, its wonderful... and tiring....

My point is, now ive got two kids, and I want them to feel this way too. Here my friends is the problem. Oh well, fingers crossed.

SELAMAT BERPUASA TO EVERYONE

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL????

2008-08-23T11:34:00.003+08:00

Has anyone noticed how us human beings have less and less ethics and morals? Ok fine, Im not that knowledgeable to know that much. But HERE in Brunei..... I've noticed that there are less and less nice people around. Maybe its cause I'm older and the older you get you forget to be nicer to people cause you're too concerned about what you don't have?

Maybe I'm being a bit too vague. I'm not talking about how religious you are, how many times you pray a day. Thats between you and god.

My point is that we are increasingly forgetting to be nice to others, that we are too concerned with life and surviving that we forget that we are only one person in a billion.

Why do I say this......

I have never been plagued with so many thoughts of Black Magic and these people making up stories about that person and negativity, this person has that, that person said this.... WHATS GOING ON PEOPLE.......

I ask you, why are there more and more people in Brunei that once they dont get what they want they turn into absolute idiots. The best example, is all those girls or guys out there that are so selfish, once they dont get that person that they want, or the person has moved on, they resort to black magic and lies and they set out to ruining these peoples lives.

The funny thing is, its usually malay people doing it to other malay people, it saddens me, that instead of us trying to help each other out, we have to destroy each other. Whats the purpose of this?????

For MONEY? once you die you cant bring it with you, all you're left with is white cloth and dirt.

For FAME? For POWER? Its pathetic and sad. How are we supposed to help our nation succeed if we cant even live with each other.

What happened to the Malay people that used to just help each other out? It still happens. But less and less, we're more interested in gossip and searching for the bad..............

Happiness is a choice you make everyday. How can you be happy when you mind is consumed with thoughts of revenge, jealousy and envy. How can you live like this?

Islam is a life of peace? Isnt it? How peaceful are you when you have to resort to backstabbing and nonsense.

So my opinion is this, dont use religious symbols to prove that you're a good person, cause anyone can wear a tudong and grow a beard. Its all about how you treat people around you too.

The secret

2008-08-20T15:44:00.002+08:00

With some of the responses Ive been getting I thought I'd add on.

I've tried many many diets, exercising and even tried to lose weight on pills. The ones that make u empty ur bowels almost every second of the day, or the ones that collect all the oil from ur food and releases it down the other way. SERIOUSLY uncomfortable.

I have even tried the one that supposed to raise your metabolic rate, make it faster. All it did was make me jittery, anxious and extremely irritable, so I stopped that.There was another one where you had to take it before six in the morning or else you wouldnt be able to sleep come midnight.

Pills, diet and exercise, everybody else who did it, the weight just fell off them. So imagine this, you're all trying to lose weight as a group and u do everything ur friends do, but you dont lose an ounce. they keep getting slimmer and slimmer...... So you get angry and disappointed with urselves. then you eat to feel better. I did. So eventually when everybody else is skinny, you're still fat or even fatter.

This was me. NO JOKE.

everytime I would try to stick to a diet everytime I told myself I shouldnt eat that it made me want to eat more. Ever been there?

I have recently lost weight and I did it not cause I dieted. I just didnt put so much importance on food as i used to. Instead of putting alot of effort to eat, like thinking bout it, what to eat, how it would look and smell and taste, I got lazy. hahahahaha. I decided, for some reason, I dont know what, but I changed my perception of food. I decided that food doesnt make me feel as good as it used to. I used to eat and automatically feel better. Now I eat, and it doesnt excite me as much as it used to..... This may sound like crazy talk, but I am deadly serious.

So for me, the secret to losing weight, is not to think about it, cause the amount of pressure we feel when we think about it too much makes it too bloody damn hard.

So I dont eat to feel better, I eat cause my body needs the energy. and I exercise or sing when I need to feel better.

some tips

2008-08-14T12:03:00.011+08:00

ok. There have been several blogs linking me. Now I feel the undeniable urge to impress you guys who have kindly spent time and effort learning how to link blogs and actually thinking my blog deserves to be linked... GOSH.

Although I must warn you, I am a 30 year old with an open mind and an open mouth. I believe in honesty or anything as close as possible to the truth, cause if you're not being yourself, then who else can you be. Or something smart like that.

Alright, you have been duly warned.

Today, ladies we will embark on a journey. Almost a trip into the secret lifestyle of spydom , there's a big word you can use, espionage or something. anyways......

Those who have met me or seen me must have realised that Im not what you would call petite, small, delicate, fragile... ladylike???? Well lets not go on..... I am according to local standards a giant, anak jin, bigger then the most..... I grew up talking to tops of white tudongs, not faces, didnt help that my best friend back then was not exactly 5 cats..... Sorry Naj... I LOVE YOU........

My point is, no matter what size you are or want to be or dream to be something you will learn is that nobody actually likes how their body looks, well maybe 1 out of 10 do. The rest of us NORMAL people think we're too fat, too tall, too skinny, too short, too what ever la ah.....

So instead of wanting to be like someone else, take a look in the mirror, ya maybe you're not so excited bout that person looking back, but hey its time to accept what we are instead of wasting time and effort with worrying..... If you've noticed worrying is a long and tedious process that doesnt actually help much.....

Alright, So I have always had a problem with weight, I have at one time been more than 80kg... think I was close to 85kg.But I didnt want to be stuck in clothes that an elephant would wear. I was already fat, and then the way I dress should make me feel pretty what.

I would get dressed up everyday feeling like this, with my weapons of makeup and imaginary confidence, I would walk out the door 'FEELING' like this

Even though I actually looked like this

and once I go meet normal sized chicks I felt like this....................

I think what truly changed my mind about the way I should dress, was I met this lady and she wasnt at all at her ideal weight, if you know what I mean, but she would still be dressed in the lastest fashions, beautiful hair, beautiful makeup, she just looked great..... And because she didnt care she wasnt perfect, neither did I. I didnt even notice her body size. It faded. So I wanted to be as confident and as beautiful as her.

But I still needed my weapons. So here are my weapons of confidence.

1. Always wear HIGH HEELS, with long pants, they make you look taller, and taller people are supposed to be heavier right??? So you look like you're lost a few kg already.

2. Always be comfortable in what you wear, if your friends say it looks good try it, but if you really aren't brave enough dont.

3. BIG BELTS, oh these things saved me so many times, If you're smart and you position the belt properly, you can hide that bulge, I do it ALL THE TIME!!!!

4. SAFETY PINS, when you dont have a perfect body, your body bulges and moves in ways that clothes are not designed to accomodate. believe me, Ive tested this. So when those tops you have bulge a bit at the buttons, bring on the safety pins honey.......

5. TOO TIGHT clothes, even thin people look dumb when their clothes are too tight. really you want to bring attention to those places??? dress to accentuate your good points. Cause as I KNOW, tight jeans leave a extra bulge of fat up there, so when you sit it looks worse. I used to accentuate the top bits just to draw attention from my belly underneath.....

6. Last but not least, love who you are, cause no matter what, people are always gonna try to bring you down no matter what you look like or have achieved.

If thats not enough, your mental strength is the best bet, Just keep an image of this little lady down here and she might give you enough strength to battle those comments, looks and insults

told you REAL WOMEN WEAR BIG BELTS!!!!!!

Blame Games......

2008-08-11T14:23:00.002+08:00

Wow, I was shocked...... Firstly, that we now have the basketBALLS to have such a headline.... Well done. Hahaha.... But as we read, they were blame games weren't they. I so enjoyed the article, how our athlete has been training since March 2008. WOW!!!! March!!!! Thats like.... WOW SIX MONTHS.... Come on people, do we seriously believe that athletes are formed from just natural talent.

Those athletes we see on tv, the big names, I am sure that these people have been training since they were discovered out of school. Selection processes and training of athletes are long, strenuous challenges.

But you think I speak out of an opinion based on no experience.

I was fortunate enough to train with some of these guys. And they are the unsung heroes of our country. These guys sacrifice their lives, studies and any steady advancement in work. Why? Cause to be at a fitness and skill level anywhere close to even SEA Games standards apatah lagi the OLYMPICS are days and nights of training, once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once at night. To reach the mental strength these athletes have or are trying to achieve is unbelievable. Have you ever watched them train, they are pushed to their limits every single training session. But to them its all part of perfecting your sport. What they live for, the chance to represent their country, to bring glory back home in the form of round metal objects.

And what do they recieve..... oh oh ..... they get empty promises. Ive heard that every medal won, gold is supposed to get you $ 3, 000.00. silver is $ 1, 500.00. In the SEA Games. Please!!!! athletes are still waiting for payment from 2003 and in some cases even longer.

They get an allowance of $ 300.00 a month. Well thats what it was few years ago. And even that was usually not received.

We are a nation of smart, intelligent people, right? We know that a healthy person needs a healthy diet. Especially people that use their bodies... RIGHT???? Well wouldnt you like to know, that they are asked to stay at hostels, so that they can have nothing better than to train, which they are happy to do. But do they get food? NO!!! Do they even get a food allowance... NO!!!! So they live on maggii mee..... ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!!

LOOK, enough with the blame games. If you want our athletes to get better, faster, stronger... then they need support. They need to be appreciated for what they represent, tirelessly working day and night to represent a country that doesnt give them the respect and recognition they deserve.

How do you support yourself on $ 300 a month. In singapore, gold medal winners are paid ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Pro Athletes all over the world are revered and respected. To be a Professional Athlete is considered a good choice of career. and you make money. even the wonderful people filling up our gas tanks make $ 1, 000 or more a month.

all Im saying is, if you want our athletes to be able to perform at high levels, they cant worry about anything but their sport. Not everyone can pull of a 8-4 job, not everyone can write music, or be doctors or teachers. some special individuals are just born with every single characteristic to win every race physically and mentally, but since you cant make money as an athlete, they get stuck in jobs that bores them to death.

So instead of not signing them up or waiting 6 months before a major competition to train, lets start now...... We have four years. Lets start now dont wait. We have the athletes, and Bruneians are stubborn when they want to be so determination is not a problem. We are descendants of warriors. That blood still flows through many of us.

2008-07-22T11:06:00.002+08:00

wow... people still read my blog... I thought I was crazy and just writing to myself... hahahaha....

But to Icy Lady,I apologise, I must explain, I have battled with my weight since I was born, Ive been berisi, lampuh, chubby, bigboned, tagap gendut... you name it. Its not about weight, its about living a healthier life style, thats all. Maybe we dont look like bloody models who look like they only eat once a month. Look at Queen Latifah, that woman has never ever cared bout her weight and cause she doesnt care neither do we.

So I apologise again, its not about how big you are, its about how healthy the food you put on ur mouth is. how many times you exercise a week, how many times you say no to sweet sugary drinks... oh I miss coca cola....... and cakes and chocolates.... ah....... Please except my apologies, I never meant you to feel any bad k.....

Alright, to the guest, who ever you are.... you said,

how about pointing the rainbow with the you-know-what finger... jari telunjuk that is.... and singing in the kitchen will make you to marry old man

I agree, if I knew that singing in the kitchen will make me marry an old man, then I wouldnt have felt desperate and lonely all those years....cause I'd definately get married right. hahaha.... No more need for all those online dating sites... juts sing in the kitchen... BEST jua tu....

how about

mentioning someone's name and if he or she turns up, he will live a long life.....

Screw plastic surgery and vitamins man, its the best thing to do, hahaha and I wont have to watch that program 'how to live longer' what...... and its free.....

Thanks Guest, if you have anymore let me know... and let me know who you are cause then i can give the proper recognition and stuff like that....

2008-07-07T10:17:00.004+08:00

I know Ive written about our traditions before... but Ive been hearing things like... all this adat is haram and stuff like that... its true. but its our culture. If we dont have our traditions no matter how unIslam they may seem, it makes us Bruneians what.I mean, americans have Thanksgiving and independence day... it makes them Americans man.

Yes yes we all wanna be up to date and developed and shit, but HELLO........... we need to hang on to why we're Bruneians......Yes Im sure that everybody doesn't believe that sitting on pillows gives you boils and cutting your nails after six is NDA KUASA... But its interesting to say the least.. hahaha

So Im gonna list down the ones I remember, if you guys have any please email me or something.....

1.

SITTING ON PILLOWS GIVES YOU BOILS OR BISUL

( ok back in the day they didnt have running water and stuff so of course you were alot dirtier back then. and your backside wouldnt have been very clean. and how stubborn are bruneians.... so of course they had to come up with some cock and bull story.

2.

WASHING YOUR FEET BEFORE YOU GO TO TO BED OR ELSE YOU'LL GET BAD DREAMS

(ok I still do this... hahahaha.... so does Jenny Malai Ali..... think bout it, im sure back in the day feet were alot dirtier and you wouldnt want dirty feet in your bed, there is no scientific proof for this, but it works for me)

3.

DONT CUT YOUR NAILS AFTER SUNDOWN

hello.... there was no KARAN (electricity) kali ah)

4.

DONT EAT STANDING UP, NDA KUASA.....

(another thing I dont understand is 'nda kuasa' what does that mean, but imagine if one person was standing and the rest were sitting on the floor your neck would hurt right)

5.

'OH POCHOT'

(said when you accidentally fall or trip or drop something, dont know what a pochot is.... but hey its different)

Notice how the one similar thing in all those things above is how good we are at getting our way, how we can get somebody to do something they don't wanna do. I think we should be proud of this trait that we all seem to have to make things work when we really want it. Just my opinion........

Thats what I can think of at the top of my head.... if you have anymore let me know ya.....

2008-07-01T10:55:00.002+08:00

Dear Bang Opi,

Bang, whats going on with the bleep guys at kristal astro.... I think they're too good at their jobs.... They bleeped out the DIC in ri-DIC-ulous.

Then he would have had some really smart thing to add on Im sure.

I miss you bang...... We all do. Mummy and nini still look sad.

I had my first family holiday, and I'm trying to get close with the kids like you asked me too.I wish I could have asked you so many things. Nevermind, I'll learn it along the way.

2008-06-16T12:04:00.002+08:00

my brother's gone. You think to yourself that there's a reason for everything. That he was in so much pain, and then you think and you regret and then you get angry, why is he gone.....

Then you try to take a big step back, and you realise to yourself, that you're just being selfish. The only reasons you want someone to stay is cause of how YOU feel. I couldn't imagine how much pain and suffering he went through.... and for him its finally over, the physical pain at least. I couldn't bare to see him everyday, he was the scary big brother. and suddenly he was skin and bones and he was just not him. But my brother's sense of humor rang through. to the very last few days he could talk.

Now both my father and big brother are gone. both from the same things......

They both had diabetes.... My brother from when he was a child. My father from when he was a young adult. You young people out there dont realise the importance of a healthy living. Even I LOVE LOVE LOVE my sweet food.

But you have to realise that once you get diabetes you can never be cured. you can get it UNDERCONTROL. but you still have it. Yeah Yeah Halle Berry has it, but she has money for chefs and nutritionists and expensive medical care at all times.

You think that, 'No Lah it will never happen to me.' But once you get diabetes, no matter how hard you try, your body eventually gives up without the proper care, this happens with old age too. But alot faster when you have diabetes. Imagine getting a cut, you leave it for a few hours its dry a few days later, its healed.

when you have diabetes, you have a cut, if you're not careful it gets infected, if you're seriously unlucky it spreads, if you leave it longer it turns to gangrene.A simple healing process disappearing from your body.

But diabetes is not the only thing you have to watch out for. you've got hereditary high blood pressure, anemia, heart disease. Find out what your family has and you might have it too. its a little thing called a gene pool, and disease seem to enjoy following heirs. Ive grown up with a nurse for a mother, so with her children's medical history in mind, we were routinely put through diets and blood tests... we even had a ration of ice cream. It didnt help that all my mother's children's genetic makeup made it easy for us to put on weight. For all youz out there with naturally high metabolic rates, Im jealous.........

I have had knowledge of the fact that I have a form of thalassemia since I was a child. Minor though but if I marry another carrier my children have a great possibility of getting thalassemia, a form of anemia, meaning my kids might need blood transfusions. Scary, but at least I know. So yeah maybe doctors and hospitals suck, but they might know something.

My family has a history of lumps in their breasticles, meaning its another thing I need to watch out for. But our health has never actually been such a big deal right. Cause if someone goes its cause it was an accident or 'got somebody make' (ada orang do black magic). hahahaha

But Ive grown up hearing, lai you should lose some weight, NDA LAWA....... So I grew up with some horrific self esteem issues. hahaha. didnt help that I was darker and alot taller then everybody else..... KIDS ARE CRUEL......

Now I'm gonna say.... You should seriously try to get more healthier cause you'll feel better. Cause so what if you're fat, ugly, dark, skinny, fair, short tall or smelly..... ok smelly, get some deodorant. But we should focus on promoting a healthier lifestyle, exercising having less sweet food less salt less oil. But once in awhile is fine what.

2008-05-30T15:24:00.005+08:00

My brother is not well...... Its so sad.... But all we can do is hope and pray. When it comes down to times like this that you cant blame anyone, but you feel so helpless.

He's so young, he's only 37. Its crazy, but sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, you just use whatever cards life deals you. Some people are lucky they have one of them straight flushes, some get royal flushes and in the world of card games, you know they some lucky bastards right there.

Its so weird, I guess people just deal with things there own way, as my very smart but SMALL friend said, its your own coping mechanism.... and everybody has their own. I guess I'm the kinda person that sees the humor in every single situation. I cant deal with being sad for too long, its depressing and a horrible place to be.

Some people might say Im strong, but I say that you do the best you can, cause thats all you can do. and sometimes you do need to laugh, cause when situations get too heavy and you dont break the tension then things go awry.... ( ive always wanted to use that word, I feel smart now)

But if you do know my big brother and or somebody who knew him and they can make him laugh and feel a little bit better, go visit him. go say hi, we never truly realise the effect we have on others around us. Im a firm believer that a laugh goes along way. and my brother needs to keep his spirits up, cause a happier person heals faster. Well thats what i believe.

If you do go see him please try to keep the tears in check, he doesnt need tears and sadness, he needs to feel positive and he himself must believe that he will get better.... Cause thats our only hope right now....

happy birthday

2008-05-12T11:58:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AZEEM.......... keep producing them great songs and you'll be as rich as DIDDY sooner then u know.... hahahahahah

HILL MYNA

2008-03-24T10:33:00.003+08:00

Remember growing up.......... your grandmas house would usually have a BURUNG TIONG, the amount of time you would spend trying to teach it rude things to say......... and to hear it mimic peoples voices and sounds around it was much better than tv back then, well considering we only had tv from lunchtime only, or was it later than that, the time of borneo bulletins coming once a week........ where laserdisc machines were the THING!!!! and computers and mobile phones cost a BIG HUMUNGOUS BOMB..... hahahaha mobile batteries used to be the size of a briefcase.......

But my point is that, I want to get a burung tiong man for my little girl, but surprise surprise you cant get them anymore..... you need a license, u need a permit blah blah blah..... Yes yes, I agree they are endangered now and it is cruel and unkind to take them out of their habitats, blah blah blah....

But the burung tiong will always have a special place in my heart.......... So folks, presenting, the burung tiong, the HENGLAND name is Hill Myna.........

lets sit back and reminisce, bout nights walking up in front of the tv and watching the WHITE DOT(we didnt have programs on 24-7 back then), and to pagers and smileys, to GI Joe, He-man and She-ra, to Night Rider and the Misfits of Science(a very young Courtney Cox starred), to the Love Boat, to burung tiongs in almost every house.......... hahaha.........

I sometimes wonder about our children, they wanna grow up too fast too quickly. I wish they would understand that your childhood is the best, it gives you so many great memories..... now they want the latest games, computers and mobile phones, they're only ten and they want these things....... its scary, but I guess thats what happens with every new generation, they do things differently BUT I just cant help but worry...........

2008-03-08T10:03:00.003+08:00

My 'LITTLE' cousin Wasila sent me this following email, and its really funny to be receiving this email after my little episode in my earlier post.........

From someone I thought was a 'girl' thanks for reminding me bout how to be a 'grown woman' again.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GROWN WOMAN AND A GIRL

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time ( i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where there is no path and leave a trail." WHICH IS BETTER A Girl or GROWN WOMAN Hmmmm?

its been a while

2008-02-18T11:36:00.002+08:00

WOW, i must say its been ages......

Ive been going through this whole clingy thing, its disgusting man, i dont get it sometimes. What is it about us women...... Well I must state for a fact that not all women are the same.... So as usual Im going to be talking about myself.....

But yeah, I mean, its hard having to get used to things, I mean, I remember who i was before i got married, but its like that person sorta kinda doesnt fit anymore. Im not sure but I heard a couple of women go through the same thing after marriage.

its so weird maybe its the age thing as well, but I used to go out every night, hang out until the early hours of the morning.... Not a very healthy life.

Nowadays, Im at home or out with my husband..... and you know what happens when you do that... you have no more stories to tell... you become this really boring boring person....

Now i understand what happens the first year.... The man just goes ahead and continues his life, ok thats horrible he changes too la... hahaha... but Ive been going through this whole be a good wife thing and ask permission and shit, but then of course you lose that really exciting person your man fell inlove with... hahahaha

and i said I would never ever be this person..... thats why you should never say never....

thats why I have realised that I need to get my life back in order, not that my life is a mess now, but seriously you need to go out, you need to be independant, cause these silly little men, dont want a clingy wife......and as my friend 'SMALL' says we gotta keep the men on their feet cause if you dont they tend to take you for granted. and they dont realise this at all.... they are men after all, they only keep track of how dirty the car is.... we are the emotional over analysing monsters, and have i mentioned assumption.... oh man, I have had some very good conversations in my head about what goes on.....

another interesting conversation i had on saturday was that paranoia affects anyone and can affect everyone!!!!!! But sometimes its just your PMS or the hormone contraceptive you're on, cause ladies, that stuff just plays with your mind like nobody's business........ hahahaha....

mums cooking

2007-11-14T09:28:00.000+08:00

ok, have you realised that when we watch tv, they usually talk bout food they normally have at home, words we usually hear are, meatloaf, potluck and a roast.....

well I was thinking wats the one thing that almost all houses have in Brunei.....

Ive decided that one meal Ive noticed is AYAM KICAP.... hehehe... and everybody has a favourite... the one i love at home is when my mum makes it, the kuah is thickish but banyak. and then its bit bit pedas.... BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!

ok, if you agree, please describe yours. hahaha. But im sure you guys have other opinions about what you think is a norm at your houses....

I must tell you though another thing that we all love is eggs.... omelets, sunny side up, hard boiled, half boiled... we love eggs.... dont forget that we must have the obligatory chopped onions and sometimes you have your lada hidup......

Growing up a staple of the dining table was either curry, any kind of curry... my late dad was a curry freak, and he cooked the best curry in the world!!!!! hahaha.... yeah yeah your parents cook the best to you guys too.... but then we would also have corned beef and an omelet... hahaha... NUTRITIONAL to the maximum....

But lemme know what your home favourites are.... i like food, i like reading bout food, i especially love eating it... of course!!!!

ENDOMETRIOSIS

2007-11-13T11:11:00.000+08:00

So Ive been getting some really painful periods lately............ wait a minute

WARNING: FEMALE PROBLEMS COMING UP, if u cant handle periods and pab smears please dont read..............

So yeah, been getting some seriously painful periods lately, and it appears that my endometriosis is coming back...... Yup its a big word and pretty difficult to prononce.... but what is it? Lemme tell u guys.........

Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus (the endometrial stroma and glands, which should only be located inside the uterus) is found elsewhere in the body.

Endometriosis lesions can be found anywhere in the pelvic cavity: on the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, and on the pelvic sidewall. Other common sites include the uterosacral ligaments, the cul-de-sac, the Pouch of Douglas, and in the rectal-vaginal septum.

In addition, it can be found in caecarian-section scars, laparoscopy or laparotomy scars, and on the bladder, bowel, intestines, colon, appendix, and rectum.

In rare cases, endometriosis has been found inside the vagina, inside the bladder, on the skin, even in the lung, spine, and brain.

The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain. The pain often correlates to the menstrual cycle, but a woman with endometriosis may also experience pain that doesn’t correlate to her cycle. For many women, the pain of endometriosis is so severe and debilitating that it impacts their lives in significant ways.

Endometriosis can also cause scar tissue and adhesions to develop that can distort a woman’s internal anatomy. In advanced stages, internal organs may fuse together, causing a condition known as a "frozen pelvis."

It is estimated that 30-40% of women with endometriosis are infertile.

If you or someone you care about has endometriosis, it is important to research the disease as much as possible. Many myths and misconceptions about endometriosis still persist, even in medical literature. For many women, management of this disease may be a long-term process. Therefore, it is important to educate yourself, take the time to find a good doctor, and consider joining a local support group.

Symptoms of endometriosis

The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain. The pain often correlates to the menstrual cycle, however a woman with endometriosis may also experience pain at other times during her monthly cycle.

For many women, but not everyone, the pain of endometriosis can unfortunately be so severe and debilitating that it impacts on her life significant ways.

Pain may be felt:
before/during/after menstruation
during ovulation
in the bowel during menstruation
when passing urine
during or after sexual intercourse
in the lower back region

Other symptoms may include:
diarrhoea or constipation (in particular in connection with menstruation)
abdominal bloating (again, in connection with menstruation)
heavy or irregular bleeding
fatigue

The other well known symptom associated with endometriosis is infertility. It is estimated that 30-40% of women with endometriosis are subfertile.

How scary is that???? I knew it.... I knew that it wasnt normal to have so much pain.... So guys get checked man..... Could affect your fertility.... and the amazing thing with so many scientists and doctors thay have no specific reasons what causes this disease...

But yeah since I was there I got my pab smear done..... Do you know how weird it is to have another woman touch u like that.... Men dont have to go through with these kinds of things.... If u boys had to have an annual checkup where ur privates are on display, poked and prodded ud so think we were the stronger sex.... hahaha

But I must stress the importance of these checkups, its the best way to check for irregular cells that could or could not lead to cancer. and all them little things inbetween, i really dont wanna get into it right now...... hahahah.......

But women... we have a responsibility to get checked right? beri malu plang.... hey man, I even got my breasticles checked.... weird feeling, this lady is pressing and touching ur breasts..... but at least I know that so far so good.... instead of just speculating.....

happiness

2007-10-30T11:36:00.000+08:00

I got my mum this book called the 8 steps to happiness.......... Ive just read the first few pages though..................

the thing that caught my eye was the fact that it states emphatically that we should chose to be happy and that its a hard difficult journey.....

But think of that we chose to be happy..... CHOSE!!!!!!

So enuff griping and complaining, its now time to chose to be happy..... ima gonna write more bout this once I actually read the whole book, just incase, I dont wanna give you guys the wrong information But what we should think bout is, are we really happy? do we have the tools? do we even know what makes us truly truly happy........................ After the whole get rich, I have money, I'll be happy, tapi if we watch movies, isnt it always the story, MONEY DOESNT BUY HAPPINESS................... thats the moral of most stories right? Well alot.............

Something to think about......................

the big 3-0

2007-10-24T10:35:00.000+08:00

For a twenty year old, this number is a scary one, adults bodybuilders alike are scared... hahaha oklah oklah IM exaggerating, but its true man, 30 big deal ler

and now Ive hit it..... and surprisingly it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be..... My cousin called me all the way from KL just to wish me a Happy Birthday, but the best part was when she said that Im 30, married and have two kids, hilarious when I think that on my 29th birthday it was bulan puasa, I was single with no hopes of ever getting married apatah lagi having kids......

Look at me now world.... its MAGICAL hahaha... but she said I gotta set new goals and aspirations, now thinking bout it, was I so consumed at finding a man? Was I? Sometimes to realise these kinda things is just hard, cause you the one feeling it......

So I got breakfast in bed, my daughter, woke up early with her grandma (my mummy) went outside to pick flowers and make me breakfast, you know what was my first thought....... 'THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE CHILDREN', husbands have a possibility of going you know (not that im asking for that.... jauh palis)

Then I spent the afternoon with my favourite person in the whole world my cousin Czarena......

Had dinner at home....... Oh oh, and I got my first piece of married birthday jewellry, not that I asked for it!!!!! I didnt banar!!!!! But what women doesnt love diamonds.... when you least expect it.... ryte?

So there goes Diana Party animal, well thats a lie, BUT I seriously had more fun staying home.... I must be getting old..... hahaha It happens to even the best of us.... maybe its not age hahaha its the maturity....

Ever heard that the 30s are the new 20s and the 40s are the new 30s..................

Ive decided thats what 30 year olds and 40 year olds say cause they in denial bout how old they are, but hey Ima gonna say it to.............

Im 30........... and its supposedly a CLUB, mana membershipnya? hahaha apa privilegenyakan? ada clubhouse? hahaha well thats it for now

2007-10-22T11:35:00.000+08:00

So its Monday.......

I have to set my schedule, I have kids that go to school now......

How amazing is that, last year I didnt have a boyfriend, now Im married and have two children.... magic or what???? hahaha.... I am in no way whatsoever trying to rub it in your faces, HELLO..... I was single for 7 years, Im not saying that this is the perfect marriage and it will last forever, But Im hoping..... You can only hope, my parents married for love and even after divorce and everything my dad went to his grave still loving my mum.....

So marriage is not all about LOVE......

Love man what a word, nobody tells you it comes in so many varying degrees and motions and actions and everything.....

What you thought was love, wasnt, what you dont think is right, most times is.... tell me... sounds confusing? damn straight......

But this post is dedicated to all those parents out there that sacrifice everything for their children...... Where their kids are first and foremost in there lives... priority number one.....

But then I still believe that you have to always make time for husband and wife..... without children, that bond has to be strong..... cause once that bond is lost, into the depths of oblivion, its hard to get it back..... How do you bring up happy, balanced children when their parents arent..... Its just an observation, I still dont wanna call my husband daddy or babah or whatever, NDA SEXY bah... you know what I mean... hahaha.... no offence...

But Im gonna strive to be his girlfriendwifelover for life....... mistress even.... hahaha....

Im talking out my ass I guess, Im only just starting this marriage and motherhood thing, its weird, I always thought I would be a great mother, but now looking at it, IT TAKES ALOT OF WORK, I already dont want them to take on my bad habits, but how do I do that without becoming a hypocrite.....

The difference between a maternal mother and a stepmother.... When I do have biological kids I will feel different but how do I be fair, cause I am the adult right, I know better right.... Ah man, I guess Im gonna take it a day at a time..... and im gonna have to include all uz ppl in it... hahaha

Theres so many things that you learn from having a baby from day one.....

I guess Ive just been so selfinvolved all my life that its actually something that I have to work on, like school bottles and food and clothes and their futures..... and whats gonna happen, but Im gonna try to do it one day at a time, hahaha, am i alone in this feeling? im sure everybody has doubts and worries and stupid thoughts right???? I dont have to perfect straight away right?

Im gonna go and send my girl to school now..... bye peoples.....

2007-10-20T07:58:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD.... How could i be so stupid... so SE-TU-PIT!!!!!!!I forgot to wish everybody a.......................

SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN......

muaz, muaz, i add you alredi ah... eh sorry i forgot your love of english, I have linked your blog to mine, I hope you don't mind..... What was that favourite word of yours..... it started with G.... gregarious? no I've forgotten..... hehehe

To those who have read..... the score for this year is, 0-0....

blogs and stuff

2007-10-19T09:58:00.000+08:00

Seriously...... Thanks so much for all the LINKING help.... hahaha.... so I've done but it looks like CRAP..... But at least I am semi-technologically uptodate SORTAKINDA.....

now, since Ive been lucky enuff to watch alot of tv in the mornings.... I LOVE IT!!!!! Now the buzz is an issue about a dog....... A DOG!!!!!! A DOG I TELL YOU..... maaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnn.... hello, hole in ozone layer, poverty, starvation, murders and what not.....

They're even talking bout lawyers and laws and suing..... and there have been tears.... oh my god..... its amazing what we let ourselves watch... YES I AM GUILTY TOO...... Im watching it now as i type.... SO FUNNY..... its not that its a dog, dont get me wrong, its the fact that its not even a human being..... TERRIBLE EH!!!!

I think I need to add on to this, I was driving behind a pick up truck a few years ago, and there was a dog st the side of the road, and this A-HOLE decides that its a fantastic idea to swerve and hit the dog, ON PURPOSE!!!!! then not being enuff he reverses over it.... what is this???? Nada kraja kah, I dont understand why some people have no conscience what so ever... it says alot about a person when they have no thought for gods creations.....

I believe that people nowadays have no appreciation..... everybodys caught up in the whole, WHATIWANTWHATINEEDWHATIDONTHAVE dont forget the whole, THEYHAVEABETTERCARHOUSECLOTHES thing.....

Appreciate what we have there's a reason for everything and everyone in this world,

There are bad people so we know how to APPRECIATE goodness, bad things happen so we can appreciate the GOOD...... even dogs have a purpose, what other animal can lead and protect blind people??? You know those watch dogs I couldnt imagine a watchTIGER? a watchHORSE? what kan? Just cause you cant touch dogs doesnt mean they are devils? or SETAN? Apa lah.....

I STILL THINK ELLEN THING IS STILL TOO MUCH....... hehehe.... ujungnya.....

2007-10-11T13:28:00.000+08:00

ok fine, ima gonna forget bout my pride and be completely honest..........................

CAMANAKAN ME LINK ORANG ANI......................

I would love to 'LINK' other blogs and websites.......... I dont know how to.......

So if u really nice people could help me out with this linking business it would be fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

free hugs

2007-10-09T10:31:00.000+08:00

i was watching starnews last night........

And there's this thing where they give away FREE HUGS in japan......

Good concept I agree, But I think its damn funny when I think about all my friends that are crazy for Japanese hunks man....

I can already imagine them running around and grabbing any cute guy, totally ignoring the white folk not like the Japanese girls I saw.... Hahaha.....

If I ever organised that, like a FREE HUGGING CRUISE SHIP to travel all over the world, specific destinations Im sure, where confirmed hotties originate, like Japan, some LATIN and European countries.... ah man, Id have a blast just looking at the mob of FREE HUGGING girls... hahaha, running around like headless chickens, no thats wrong they would have a definate targets .... hahaha.... trying to give free hugs to the members of Peter Pan, but totally ignoring the crew.... mana obvious tu... hahaha

Yes yes Im married, doesnt mean I have to lose my sense of humor or my personality right... hahaha....

Oh shut up, you might disagree now, but I bet you the thought does have merit in the middle of the night when all are asleep or when your mind drifts and you let yourself think of absolute garbage.....

THOUGHTS

2007-10-02T09:59:00.000+08:00

So we've been trying to put together the wedding albums, half way through you sorta kinda just wanna give up cause there's so many.....

But I've actually had so much more on my mind, I just think its funny how this month everything seems to happen, maybe you guys dont agree, but it seems that everybody's real character comes out....

But who do you blame? Do you blame themselves? Should they know better? Maybe if you're an adult, YES!!!! but a child NO!!!!

But you cant blame children, they just follow the behaviour of their parents, so for me it is the adults responsibility to take care of their children!!! Did they ask to be born? No!!!! But as parents you brought them into this world, it is your job.... YOUR JOB to take care of them, make sure they have enough guidance to be some sort of a good person... you dont dump these kids with your friends, while you go and get married start a new life.... Whats wrong with these kinds of people....

It is not the job of the brothers and sisters, even in the court of law.... even in religion it says that in the case of something happening to the parents, it is the duty of first the fathers family, ie brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties...... Then it comes to the mothers family, her sisters and brothers and mother and father aunties and uncles, IT IS NOT, i repeat, IT IS NOT the sisters or brothers of the child's responsibility..... Unless everyone else is dead......

If you understand you understand.....

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind...

Sometimes your past deeds, how you treated other people is finally coming back to you..... KARMA is a powerful thing.... Its so scary, Im scared.... You never know what you've done to hurt other people.... everyone is different, what you think is funny others wont and vice versa.

I think people would get along so much better if we all just accepted people for who they are.... and stop trying to make everybody the same... what a boring world indeed....

photos.....

2007-09-30T19:09:00.000+08:00

So we finally went to get our pictures developed......

MAHAL eh... MAHAL!!!!!

I wanted to do two copies to give away, but the prices r too much man......

But its the thought that counts right? hehehe

2007-09-21T01:49:00.000+08:00

The husband is sick.... But its alright.... So here I am blogging instead.... Ima gonna show u some pictures of our first leg of the honeymoon in langkawi....

The weather was beautiful when we got there, just nice to chill and relax, was so looking forward to chilling at the beach and the pool....

Then suddenly we were watching TV3... earthquake.... TSUNAMI ALERT!!!!

We tried to enjoy our holiday, but we just couldnt relax... the next day was so beautiful, we even bought swimsuits....

Then it started to rain and rain and rain.... the waves right outside our door were getting fierce... we left langkawi on the third evening... instead of spending 5 days there... oh well....

THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR WELL WISHES AND REALLY SWEET COMMENTS.....

2007-09-17T11:06:00.000+08:00

I promise to blog soon and add some captions to explain the pictures, but now i gotta pack.... see ya............

bersanding n ambilambilan

2007-09-17T10:43:00.000+08:00

arabian nights

2007-09-17T10:37:00.000+08:00

nikah

2007-09-17T10:36:00.000+08:00

berbedak

2007-09-17T10:11:00.002+08:00

all pics taken by bang ryzel

2007-09-17T10:11:00.001+08:00

2007-09-17T09:56:00.000+08:00

short preview

2007-09-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

Boring jua ah... I eski already ler.....

So here some preview shots,

this is my beautiful pelamin, my mummy put so much hard work into making sure the water element was the biggest factor, since she said I come from the blood of pirates... WOW mum are you sure its something we should advertise??? Thank god for PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN lau nda, nda COOL kali ah.....
Seashells that injured many feet at the side of the pelamin..... the number of times people wanted to picture picture with me and had to walk through these.....
Thanks martha for taking some really rockin' photos.............. so these are some shots of my bedak-bedak mandi, my niece joined me to celebrate her becoming a woman, she was so embarassed... kesian.... and ZAINI (JENNY MALAI ALI) didnt help with her good work and congratulations comments, she is such an egg!!!! I mean we are celebrating period pains and mood swings and pimples, ah man... but I loved having the company, but my nephew, had to come in on the action... hahaha.... nda mau rugi.my family wanted to see what I looked like with fairer skin... what you guys think???? Im white, Im white..... plastic surgery my ass......

and since I was covered with the bedak so did alai mizah..... kesian bah her... Ive had years of teasing and practical jokes man.... but she just had her first taste...

My new look for shows... TOO MUCH???I promise i come back soon

HANG ON

2007-09-16T22:37:00.000+08:00

Im married, I'm married.... can you believe it.... I know Im supposed to upload some pictures, I promise to do it asap, especially since the internet at the hotel ROCKS!!!!

But since I feel rajin, now the slide.com thingy is updating itself or something like that, so I gotta wait for that to happen first, I dont have my PROFESSIONAL PICTURES yet, but I do have the ones from my CA-RE-MA.....

So folks I'll be seeing uz soon... as soon as slide.com stops bloody acting up

WEDDING GOWN

2007-08-22T08:43:00.000+08:00

he-lep...... he-lep me.....

So I get a call from jason who's taking my pictures, and we have studio time this saturday.... for those who know me, will not be surprised when I say that I LAST MINUTE wanna find a wedding dress to rent to wear for the photos....

anybody know where I can go? I need help....

one of them white wedding gowns..... dmana ah?

Oh oh my room is done, I will show you pictures and the phone number of my carpenter

BRIDEZILLA

2007-08-21T09:28:00.000+08:00

BRIDEZILLA : a woman who wants to have too much control over her wedding, anal retentive bout details.....

Ever since I first heard the word BRIDEZILLA I have endeavoured to not be one...... So for all you wouldbe brides out there..... Here is the solution

Get your mum to do everything. BUT this will lead to other things, like being constantly badgered and annoyed, BUT Im grateful, but annoying eh......

I have decided that I hate the word LAKAS..... cause every day, everything is LAKAS tah LAKAS...... and its like not a normal pronounciation. You have to enunciate to project your unhappiness and impatience.... so the LA is very very hard then you say the KAS as fast as possible... lets say it together.............. LA-kas.....

But hey Im grateful, its wonderful, thank god my mum has damn good taste, or else I would have no choice but to be the bridezilla that we have to be..... right!!! right?

But I know my mother, she says LAKAS LAKAS LAKAS.... den last minute she changes it some more.... thats the annoying bit..... LAKAS LAKAS.... but you change it last minute.... BAHAPATAH KAN LAKAS KALAU KAN DUBAH LAGI LAST LAST....... den we cant finish it properly anyways.................

But I love ma MUMMY... dont get me wrong..... hehehe

2007-08-10T17:19:00.000+08:00

I really dont understand the thing about family, well ok, people in particular. what makes one person different from another, is it genes, is it surrounding, is it family, what is it???

How come some people are ignorant and selfish and just plain horrible and some people are so weak that everybody takes advantage of them. I dont get it sometimes.....

But then you think if everybody was the same then the world would be really boring... RIGHT???

But I just wish people would get some manners I guess....

use words like PLEASE, THANK YOU, CAN I, MAY I, COULD YOU. Simple jua tu. I just dont understand sometimes...

REEEEDHA..............

2007-08-09T19:15:00.000+08:00

THANKS TO REEDHA...........

HE'S THE FIRST BLOGGER TO ACTUALLY ASK FOR AN INTERVIEW...

and we are so honored............

Thanks for the support........... and the turtles say hi....

hahaha... MIXtering on.....................

hehehe

2007-08-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

ok, I apologise, its not a picture of my ring.... my ring similar, but i didnt wanna show you guys yet..........

But thanks C.............

C mana kan.... heheheh

ring ring

2007-08-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

yes, I am a woman so Im very excited to say..............

I GOT MY RI-ING
I GOT MY RI-ING.....
LALALALALALA-RING
(please sing to lacucaracha)

LALALALALALA-RING...................

the hyatt

2007-08-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

as a Bruneian I sadly admit I have never stayed at the Hyatt hotel in Singapore. Sad to say, but its true, I tell no lie, And the number of Bruneians staying there was never an attractive factor of the hotel.

But this time I decided to brave the vicious sea of judgement and go for it.... and to my surprise I loved it.... LA-LA-LOVED IT!!!!!

You get a room that looks like this..... It was so zen!!!!I loved it.................
But one of the best things was the food... B.E.S.S bah best!!!!

If you berani wanna take a chance go for it.... Seriously

banjeeeeer.................

2007-07-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

AT FIRST GLANCE YOU THINK.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..... RIVER BANK.... THINK AGAIN
SEE THE ROAD... THIS LADIES AND GENTS WAS MY SIMPANG OUT OF WHERE I STAY... AND WE COULDNT LEAVE UNTIL LUNCHTIME....

LISTS

2007-07-20T10:57:00.000+08:00

LISTS you say...... wait a minute I said............

OK... I am not bullshitting you, this is something that helps................. I seriously believe it!!!!

Maybe its a coincidence, but it doesnt hurt to try......

This is how easy this is..............

Go get a piece of paper or the back of a notebook..... Write down every single thing you ever wanted in a partner, from physical attributes, mental, emotional, from the most important detail to the stupidest one.... from how you want him to treat you, what hobbies, how he talks to you.....

Be completely honest, nobody has to see this list but yourself............

Here are somethings that I wrote,

1. have a great sense of humor and thinks Im the funniest girl in the world

2. to enjoy his work, respected and admired by people

Put KIND, HAS ALOT OF MONEY, TALL, HANDSOME........... whatever you want, seriously

I wouldn't be so open about this, but hey it helps, maybe it helps us women especially be honest about what we want, remember, nobody has to see this list so you could even mention lengths and sizes of specific body parts............

you stop that right now...... I was talking bout feet............ HAHAHA. Thats what I say, but you know what I mean...........

Now that you've done your list, forget about it, leave it to the universe............

I did it, and a week later I met the man Im gonna marry in september, after 7 years alone, its a fast fast change...........

and two people before me did it and soon after met the men they are married to now.......... once we all checked the list, its like unbelievable that almost 80%-90% of whats on the list is evident in your new man

Its crazy I know....... after all those bullshit emails, you think this is a waste of time...... dont do it la, but if you got time, write it down, thats all Im saying...........

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS THING, YOU WILL NOT GET BAD LUCK, YOU DONT HAVE TO FORWARD THIS...... but think about it at least........

Maybe your man is out there, its just that we women keep changing our minds that the universe is confused. hahaha........... mebe once we're specific, then they send the guy along the way. I dont know la...........

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the list

2007-07-19T09:11:00.000+08:00

whats so great about a list you might think............. I will add on later......

FAR AND AWAY

2007-07-10T22:57:00.000+08:00

this is a shout out to MR PABLO and MAMALOBENGS..............

is that how you spell it nudge?????

anyways, safe flight, get cracking on them books and the year will pass by so quickly.....

Come back quick cause you guys serve good food......

HAHAHAHA...............

ps please mention to arabfamilies that I am extremely honest, so mebe you should watch out who youz give access to..... hahaha.......... ( and i like to be colourful with my language)

good

2007-07-09T17:24:00.000+08:00

wow, I never realised that there are actually a number of my family members blogging...... ok.... mebe they not like my brutha or ma sista......... but they still family right.......

Ive been reading worldofpablo and arabfamilies and its interesting that these men are allowing people to see their soft side. there was a bit where they even had a family gathering and they asked some of the older group of the kids who are on the verge of working or studying overseas, to discuss their hardships and what they're going through.....

I love how they have actively decided to make a difference in their childrens lives and futures by discussion, explanation and understanding....

I applaud you, you are making a difference in the future..... Ive always believed that we should push for stronger family bonding, instead of just being busy with work....

Wait a minute I gotta try link the blogs.....

I dunno eh how to do it, so ima gonna just give you the addresses instead..... check it out.... I love the familynessness of the bloggering.......

http://world-of-pablo.blogspot.com/

http://arab-families.blogspot.com/

Ive always been surprised when people think its nice that we as a family are so close, my cousins are like sisters and brothers, its great........

we were taught from a very young age, that if an older member of the family asks you to do something go get something or whatever, we get up and run, its a simple thing, but it teaches you to respect your elders......

the downfall is that when youre the youngest at that time and place you start to panic cause then you know youre gonna be tired.

to never be rude, but to treat things with a sense of humor.

but my family has always had the unability to KISS ASS....... we're friendly, we're nice, but when it comes to work we leave no prisoners...........

I must tell you a very cool story.. why we as a family are as we are, is usually a reflection on your parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters.

My grandma very sadly had a very bad fall just before she was to go UMRAH..... so we were worried that she would get depressed and thats not good for any form of rehabilitation.... But instead of being depressed cause its so hard for her to move about (understand that her walking is difficult now) she gets a new rugged RED WHEELCHAIR and is excited about it that she even made sure her baju matched.... she was making jokes bout her new 'sportscar' its red bah red...........

My grandma have taught her children who taught us to always look at the bright side of everything.... good lesson or what.......

but those who dont know us think we're weird, cause we can laugh and cry at the same time, flip from anger to laughter in the matter of milliseconds.... mebe thats why my aunties look so young.............

oh oh...... i wanted to also say

we should spend
more time BEING good instead of ACTING good

weird but good

2007-07-07T08:10:00.000+08:00

so yeah..... did i ever mention how once i get married I got a ready made family.......

So I will be a step mother.....

I just worry, now I will have an impact on these childrens lives............

Ive had extremely BAD experiences with stepmothers in my lifetime, even stepdads........ So how does it all fit in...........

Can I be a mother? Can I be a GOOD mother? Scary right once you think about it....

Now the weird thing, I had a lecturing by an old old friend of mine..... Cause he is the uncle of the future stepson...... hehehe. and this guy is someone I have never seen serious before, and he actually gave fantastic advice.......

I think that maybe these 'BAD BOYS' are sometimes the most caring, sensitive fathers.....

So again another chapter in our life lessons of ................

DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

when you think about it, who the hell decided that people were books in the first place, who ever he is must have had a lot of time, imagine the thought process.........

I think he must have been judged too many times in his lifetime until he thinks to himself one day (im sure he must have been stoned on something) why do people always judge me, like im a book they havent read, yeah thats it, Im a book he says to himself, and people are judging me by my cover..... hahaha..... or something like that.............

hahaha.... or like the first time someone saw a tree, why didnt he think ah. stone or orange or wall? Im sure some smart ass out there with a degree in literature or english or something like that has an answer. But since I havent heard it yet...... hehehe. Im sticking to my story....

gods work

2007-07-05T09:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches...............

you lose some you win some.................

But god always gives you what you truly need not what you want...............

think about it

man. you people sometimes need so much help............

ok, example, you tell urself you want that man... ( this was in the past) instead of getting him, you get caught up in a situation where you instead gain self-confidence and you realise the man you wanted was a waste of time..............

THAT WAS IN THE PAST........... im happy now.....

PAVLOVA

2007-06-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

oh my god............ so im extremely lucky that I used to be babysat by pablo.... hehehe........

and since my wedding is coming up he's so gonna hook me up with a cake.......

since my mother like his sister from another mister we got a sample............... all uz people out der dont you dare use this against him.... If he introduced you to grease and a fish called wanda and my very first taste of smoked salmon, at the age of 12, then oklah.... but since u havent hahahahaha............

ok thats not important......

He brought over this wonderful, amazing, fantastic, like like clouds melting on your tongue and although it does taste as good as if u had bought it at the best pavlololova sop.......

it tastes like it just came out of the oven, fresh, and the best bit is, is that it tastes like something homemade. Like as bess as ur mothers best dish.... u know what i mean.... ok look at this...............

so it tastes better then u can think can even imagine.........................

like u know how sophisticated elegant people are considered cold ani sophisticated but got ray of sunshine......

look, go order one, and u'll understand......

THANKS TO THE BESTEST PERSON.............. pablo............ I IS LOVING YOU THE MOSTERED YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!

2007-06-28T13:20:00.000+08:00

pablo.......... pavlova..........pablo pavlova.....................

but seriously..... im so gonna blog about it later............ but wanna spend time picking the right words to decribe the partyinmymouth, exquiste taste of the pavlova.......

WAIT AH WAIT

the things ppl say

2007-06-23T09:14:00.000+08:00

I just received a text from my cousin...... A supposed friend had messaged her...... trying to as usual to make her feel bad about herself.... I dont understand why people like this exist.....

to add on, He decided to put my name in the text and then cause HE is like the 'BEST' at relationships, decides to say how my relationship now is a joke..... WOW......

Its amazing how stupid people are when they think they smart......

Its amazing how people think they can make opinions on things they know nothing about.... Between me and Saizul we have hundreds of friends, old friends new friends, friends that have become family..... and these are people who will protect us and we will protect them..... These people have hung out with us and seen us together and we have had nothing but comments like, Im so happy ure happy..... U guys r good for each other blah blah blah....

But the important thing is that no matter what one person says or many..... We have no right to predict the downfall of a relationship, well mebe when ure 12.... when you think u know everything but actually know NOTHING.......

Ive had my share of history and I know this is different.......... But its not important... Whats important is that you, I feel sorry for you sweetheart, I hope one day you can take a long long look at yourself and realise that karma is real.... and I apologise that you have had such a hard life, and this has made you bitter and cynical..... I was almost like you anyone can be... I guess I have to thank my lucky stars..... Yes maybe to you my relationship is a joke, but hey Im happy and its something that feels right.

hehehe.... everyone says how i used to be bitter and cynical..... and I never realised it.... but I guess its something we all go through.....

I wish you the best....................

from KL to singapore

2007-06-22T08:00:00.000+08:00

since we were coming from KL at 11pm wednesday, we decided that we wanted to stay somewhere close to the airport...... when u hear the words CONCORDE INN... you think yeah man......

I forgot to notice the word INN...... oh well, you know how ppl look fantastic in touchedup photographs... well well... places look fantastic too when you know how to take pictures.....
looks nice right???? well wen we got there I felt like it was a HOSTEL...... hehehe.......

since i had to go buy my antaran in two days, I decided to stay at marriott, ngalih beh...... and Im not disappointed at all.....

singapore has the best service...... they make sure we happy, they make sure we comfortable and HELLO.... efficient anibah.... I love love love singapore

MEN ARE JUST WOMEN SOMETIMES

2007-06-20T11:37:00.000+08:00

Yup its true.................most definately!!!!!!

Men are just women sometimes......................

I need some comments yeah, Im sure I'll get some..........

I think Im such a woman when I cant lift a humungously heavy massive thingamabobby.... TRUE? TRUE!!!!!

And when I run away and totally and absolutely FREAKOUTHAVEABFSWEARMYHEADOFF if there's a baby lizard on my windshield while im driving...........

hehehe...............

But when it comes to getting an injection........... I have never heard of a woman not getting it..... BUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I have known men that will have to be forced to do it..........

Remember when mummy had to put medicine on your cut as a kid???? NNNNOOOWWW cause we worried of the TETANUS, it getting infected and what not we go to clean it at least and always put disinfectants......... RIGHT!!!!!

Well the number of men that dont wanna even put medicine on a wound!!!!!! hehehehe............

OK OK......

I WILL NOW STATE MY OPINION!!!!!!

I will state this statement with the confidence this confident statement deserves!!!!!!

I have no knowledge how this came about..... But the baddest men make the best fathers!!!! You know those reformed bad boys? The ones your mummy and friends and aunties and cousins and ninis and boyfriends would tell you to stay away from????

They love love love love love their children!!!! Im serious!!!! I will even go as far as saying my late daddy was a good example!!!! He would always chose his children over his woman.... My friends who have married BAD BOYS! They love their children, yes they may be a tad OVER-PROTECTIVE... like OOOOOOOOOOOOO-VEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR ani bah. TOO MUCH you know!

But these are the men that will go out just him and his child to hang out with his friends!!!! or just to go out.... these are the ones that spend time with their kids and be worried if they were upset....

I have heard of these GOOD BOYS too you know.... Im not onesidedstory ler. They spend so much time being GOOD? That kids should be seen and not heard. These are the ones that MAKE SURE their kids are number one in school through anger and tuition. ok I'll stop....

But I must make clear something, the BADBOYS im talking about is not the kambang kambang ones those ones im not sure..... The ones Im definate about are the BADBOYS that drink, party, know so many people its crazy BUT siok sendiri, inda ngacau orang unless they kana kacau first!!!! Youve seen them right theres always a group of them amongst the other other ones!!!! They the ones that dont care and do what they want..........

HEY!!!! how many of are you out there? If you got time to read you can drop me a comment or something yeah..... and gimme ur addies too.....

its been a while

2007-06-19T12:12:00.000+08:00

ok ok...... Yes I havent blogged for awhile...... Its hard to blog when theres so many thoughts going through your head that you dont exactly know what to blog about specifically.....

As many of you have heard, Im getting hitched, married I am tying the knot..... the marriage knot?.....

before I go on.... I have read books and articles and emails and was an avid follower of astrology...... But I will say that the one thing that rang true was that book.....

'He's not that into you'

And it goes on and on about how we women on a whole should stop making excuses about our men in our lives... its true.... the uncountable number of failed relationships Ive had to go through... The pain, the hurt, the not knowing the over analyzing....... the what ifs, when wills, if onlys, i wishes..... ok Im gonna stop... but you get what I mean right.....

The point of this post........... TA-DA..........

(the following is my opinion ok, you all dont ambil hati until you angry )

We as women, ok fine to be politically correct the majority of us out there, Im talking Brunei chicks ok.......... We all rasa-rasahan western already, dont need a man la, can do it by ourselves la.......... If we really really look.... We all still malay you know.........

OK FINE!!!!! Sensitive bah you ppl.....

I thought I didnt need a man........... FEEL BETTER? hehehehe...............

anyways, we all have in our minds the perfect man, the perfect wedding..... but we never really think about what its gonna be like the day after we get married, can you grow old with this person, will I still wanna do him....... can I live with you day in and day out.... viceversa too you know......

And Ive realised it takes effort, and we gotta look at the big picture why does he have to be perfect if Im not..... hello stretchmarks, moodswings, pms I dont think I need to go on............

But one thing I know is that once a man promises to work on a marriage and always communicate, make effort and all that other stuff... He's got me.... and he does..... hehehe....

Its amazing the difference between someone thats been married and someone who has no idea.............. Single men here (my opinion) have these expectations of their future wives that are sometimes TOO MUCH............ T.M. bah!!!!!!

Im sure u all understand right......

the most dangerous place in the world

2007-05-30T07:42:00.000+08:00

here ye here ye....... ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce to you the

MOST DANGEROUS PLACE IN THE WORLD

ta-da.........................

the roundabout at Qlap..... you know it right.....

I would like to make a few clarifications, suggestions, observations.....

1. There is no LAW that says we can't go round more then once.... SERIOUSLY...... so instead of braking to a FULL-STOP to MEMAJAL to go into your exit in the middle of the roundabout if there is no opportunity just go round again..... KENAPAKAN KAMU ANI.... Do you suffer a rare disease of circlelitis, where if you go more then 360 degrees you die kah.... you die... huh huh..... I must say this... you ASSHOLES ARE CAUSING ACCIDENTS..... MOTHER EFFERS MAN......

2. I apologise for this next comment, you stupid woman drivers out there, you fuckers give women like me a bad rep, youre TOO CAREFUL, TOO SLOW, DONT KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR GOD DAMN SIDE MIRRORS....... WHY KAN WHY....... If someone is annoying me on the road, udah I pass by its always a woman....... ok fine, mebe Im exagerating, but you know what I mean, Its like your blind spot was never mentioned kah in your road test..... explain this to me please.....

3. Now you BASTARDS out there yang perasaan F1... agatah ke Sepangkah, ke mana kah, Japan GT kah, bulehkah buleh.... I apologise, I think we live in different dimensions, where you rasa-rasahan that you racing, we normal ppl just wanna go form point a to point b.... and you know what... your stupid little yellow signs, that say kalau paham bisai la, kalau ini kah itu kah... what ever.... it doesnt help in an accident stupid shits, insurance companies do not give you more benefits ok.... if you salah you salah....

4. This next one is more of a personal thing, but Im sure you have seen it or experienced it...... Why do I have to be so gagas cause the person behind me is running away from a fire or something......

EXAMPLE: remember the roundabout, sometimes I dont wanna die bah, sometimes I dont berani to kurang hajar want to keluar suka hati, mebe cause Im smart, mebe cause you only supposed to jalan if its safe.... It was in your road theory thingy.... REMEMBER.... Even if its a green light, we only supposed to go if we it is SE-LA-MAT...... you dont understand, SAFE bah SAFE d mutha tah banar kamu ani....

5. ok...... Just incase you didnt know.... kalau alot of cars waiting at the traffic intersection.... you know the place where roads cross each other ada light.... three colours... red, yellow and green.... JANGANTAH KAN AMBIL KESEMPATAN YO.... cause you know what if you langgar the red light then us whose turn is next have to wait till you A-HOLES pass then we can jalan..... so by that time we have only a few seconds left..... annoying right

6. illegal U-TURNS, cant you read signs kah..... do you know you can cause accidents

this means you can U-TURN

7. how bout you ppl yg cannot sabar, mesti jua kan potong jalan, Im in a hurry too you know.... I wanna get home too also... apakan kamu ani....

Ive decided that we Bruneians need to have courtesy on the road, so from today onwards I will be using my blog to applaud courteous and considerate drivers.....

areas in brunei

2007-05-29T12:09:00.000+08:00

Ive just realised that BATU BESURAT is actually a cool place you know........

Alright, Ive been doing my research.............

did you know they got......

1. red canopy... got good food maaaaaaaannnnnn

2. they r gonna open an art store, but I peeked, yes I peeked it looks like a place for figurines and models and such.... cool shit

3. they got BAG STORI............ they got CHEAP bags and they all locally made.....

4. they got WARDROBES.... got nice clothes and stuff from ikea, some of the stuff you cant find at

wats wat

2007-05-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

ever noticed how we as bruneians always seem to have an ever changing lingo that if you're not diligent can leave you behind faster than

well when I was still in school ages and ages ago..... the in thing was to say

M.T.K.I............. hahaha. oh the fun we had with that......

the different groups with their use of BRU-da, bro, yo, dude, babe, dang, daling.. its endless....

But for me its a tell-tale sigh of where i know you from and who you hang out with... example.....

DANG..... we all know who you hang out with when you start calling all female-like humanoids that... or who your friends spend time with..... dont forget the cool phrases and slang and code... hahaha.....

I think I have learnt my best SARCASM from these folk..... But understand if you dont have a good sense of humor and a tough skin you're better off without these fantastic fabolous femme fatales in your dreary lives.....

whilst hanging out with the band I had to introduce BRO and DALING in my everyday vocabulary.....

How come BRO sounds so kewl and then they turn around see you got tits and they call you SIS.... honestly speaking.... NADA RUGGED ler.... mebe its the way its said... SIS.... BE-ROW....mebe cause it sounds like SISSSSSY.... SISSSSTEM.....SISSSNOPSIS....... yeah I dont like it.....

Just to add, since when is..... BU-LEH and KALAU PAHAM BISAI so kewl, hahaha, yes I am guilty of using these phrases too...... They bring such sweet satisfaction, the emphasis we put on these phrases is amazing....... hahaha....

2007-05-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

Ive been seriously playing around with different things to blog about.... now that im here and at my laptop, Im blank blank blanketity blank blank blank..................

I think I wanted to talk bout

1. woman stalkers

2. mighty mouse

3. something interesting...... ah man.... I guess I'll just have to get back to you ppl......

CYSTS

2007-05-09T07:37:00.000+08:00

WHAT ARE OVARIES?
The ovaries are a pair of organs in the female reproductive system. They are located in the pelvis, one on each side of the uterus, which is the hollow, pear-shaped organ where a baby grows. Each ovary is about the size and shape of an almond. The ovaries produce eggs and female hormones. Hormones are chemicals that control the way certain cells or organs function.

Every month, during the menstrual cycle, an egg is released from one ovary in a process called ovulation. The egg travels from the ovary through the fallopian tube to the uterus. The ovaries are also the main source of the female hormones estrogen and progesterone. These hormones influence the development of a woman's breasts, body shape, and body hair. They also regulate the menstrual cycle and pregnancy.

WHAT ARE OVARIAN CYSTS?
A cyst is a fluid-filled sac, and can be located anywhere in the body. On the ovary, different types of cysts can form. The most common type of ovarian cyst is called a functional cyst, which often forms during the normal menstrual cycle. Each month, a woman's ovaries grow tiny cysts that hold the eggs. When an egg is mature, the sac breaks open to release the egg, so it can travel through the fallopian tube for fertilization. Then the sac dissolves. In one type of functional cyst, called a follicular cyst, the sac doesn't break open to release the egg and may continue to grow. This type of cyst usually disappears within one to three months. A corpus luteum cyst, another type of functional cyst, forms if the sac doesn’t dissolve. Instead, the sac seals off after the egg is released. Fluid then builds up inside of it. This type of cyst usually goes away on its own after a few weeks. However, it can grow to almost four inches and may bleed or twist the ovary and cause pain. Clomid or Serophene, which are drugs used to induce ovulation, can raise the risk of getting this type of cyst. These cysts are almost never associated with cancer.

There are also other types of cysts:

Endometriomas. These cysts develop in women who have endometriosis, when tissue from the lining of the uterus grows outside of the uterus. The tissue may attach to the ovary and form a growth. These cysts can be painful during sexual intercourse and during menstruation.

Cystadenomas. These cysts develop from cells on the outer surface of the ovary. They are often filled with a watery fluid or thick, sticky gel. They can become large and cause pain.

Dermoid cysts. The cells in the ovary are able to make hair, teeth, and other growing tissues that become part of a forming ovarian cyst. These cysts can become large and cause pain.

Polycystic ovaries. The eggs mature within the follicles, or sacs, but the sac doesn't break open to release the egg. The cycle repeats, follicles continue to grow inside the ovary, and cysts form. For more information about polycystic ovaries, refer to our FAQ on Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
What are the symptoms of ovarian cysts?
Many women have ovarian cysts without having any symptoms. Sometimes, though, a cyst will cause these problems:

pressure, fullness, or pain in the abdomen
dull ache in the lower back and thighs
problems passing urine completely
pain during sexual intercourse
weight gain
painful menstrual periods and abnormal bleeding
nausea or vomiting
breast tenderness
If you have these symptoms, get help right away:

pain with fever and vomiting
sudden, severe abdominal pain
faintness, dizziness, or weakness
rapid breathing

How are ovarian cysts found?
Since ovarian cysts may not cause symptoms, they are usually found during a routine pelvic exam. During this exam, your doctor is able to feel the swelling of the cyst on your ovary. Once a cyst is found, the doctor may perform an ultrasound, which uses sound waves to create images of the body. With an ultrasound, the doctor can see how the cyst is shaped; its size and location; and whether it’s fluid-filled, solid, or mixed. A pregnancy test is also done. Hormone levels (such as LH, FSH, estradiol, and testosterone) may also be checked. Your doctor may want to do other tests as well.

To find out if the cyst might be cancerous, your doctor may do a blood test to measure a substance in the blood called CA-125. The amount of this protein is higher if a woman has ovarian cancer. However, some ovarian cancers do not make enough CA-125 to be detected by the test. There are also non-cancerous diseases that increase the levels of CA-125, like uterine fibroids and endometriosis. These non-cancerous causes of increased CA-125 are more common in women under 35, while ovarian cancer is very uncommon in this age group. For this reason, the CA-125 test is recommended mostly for women over age 35, who are at high risk for the disease and have a cyst that is partially solid.

How are cysts treated?
Watchful waiting. The patient waits and gets re-examined in one to three months to see if the cyst has changed in size. This is a common treatment option for women who are in their childbearing years, have no symptoms, and have a fluid-filled cyst. It also might be an option for postmenopausal women.

Surgery. If the cyst doesn’t go away after several menstrual periods, has gotten larger, looks unusual on the ultrasound, causes pain, or you’re postmenopausal, the doctor may want to remove it. There are two main surgical procedures:

Laparoscopy—if the cyst is small and looks benign on the ultrasound, your doctor may perform a laparoscopy. This procedure is done under general anesthesia. A very small incision is made above or below the navel, and a small instrument that acts like a telescope is inserted into the abdomen. If the cyst is small and looks benign, it can be removed.
Laparotomy—if the cyst is large and looks suspicious, the doctor may perform a procedure called a laparotomy. This procedure involves making bigger incisions in the stomach to remove the cyst. While you are under general anesthesia, the doctor is able to have the cyst tested to find out if the tissue is cancerous. If it is cancerous, the doctor may need to remove the ovary and other tissues that may be affected, like the uterus or lymph nodes.
Birth control pills. If you frequently develop cysts, your doctor may prescribe birth control pills to prevent you from ovulating. This will lower the chances of forming new cysts.

Can ovarian cysts be prevented?
Ovarian cysts cannot be prevented. Fortunately, the vast majority of cysts don’t cause any symptoms, are not related to cancer, and go away on their own. Talk to your doctor or nurse if you notice any changes in your period, pain in the pelvic area, or any of the major symptoms listed above. A pelvic exam, possibly with an ultrasound, can help determine if a cyst is causing the problem. If a woman is not seeking pregnancy and develops functional cysts, frequently, future cysts may be prevented by taking oral contraceptives, Depo-Provera, or Norplant.

When are women most likely to have ovarian cysts?
Functional ovarian cysts usually occur during the childbearing years. Most often, cysts in women of this age group are not cancerous. Women who are past menopause (ages 50-70) with ovarian cysts have a higher risk of ovarian cancer. At any age, if you think you have a cyst, it’s important to tell your doctor.

When to Seek Medical Care

A health care provider should be contacted if the following symptoms occur:

Fever
Abnormal pain or tenderness in the abdominal or pelvic area
Nausea or vomiting
Weakness, dizziness, or fainting
Pallor or anemia (possibly from loss of blood)
Abnormally heavy or irregular menstruation
Abdominal swelling or unusual increased abdominal girth
Abdominal pain if blood thinners such as warfarin (Coumadin) are taken
Increased facial hair similar to a male pattern
High or low blood pressure unrelated to medications
Excessive thirst or urination
Unexplained weight loss
A noticeable abdominal or pelvic mass

A WOMAN WITH THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS SHOULD GO IMMEDIATELY TO A HOSPITAL'S EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT

Weakness, dizziness, or faintness, especially from standing

Fainting

Persistent fever

Severe lower abdominal or pelvic pain

High or low blood pressure unrelated to medications

Excessive thirst or urination

Unexplained shoulder pain combined with abdominal pain
Persistent nausea and vomiting

2007-05-07T21:27:00.000+08:00

2007-05-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

2007-05-03T19:38:00.000+08:00

Are you tired of those asinine "friendship" poems with decent intentions, but never actually come close toreality? Well, here's a collection of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

ELIZA N HANI

2007-04-26T08:32:00.000+08:00

this post is for two birthday girls..................................

HAPPY SMASHING BIRTHDAY TO ELIZA ELAINE

22ND APRIL

AND TO HANI

25TH APRIL

and since the two of you have decided that you both need to lose weight...... ELIZA uve had ur double chin since birth, have you noticed how uve always had it.... and ure still skinnyminny... NO ONE IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD BELIEVES U NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT..... where kan your fat? MACAM NADA SAJA................

and HANI, 25 time to feel ALIVE...... youve been very lucky babe...... god loves you so much that he got rid of a certain pile of DOODOO from your life....... and im sure u realise this.......

HANI, youre not FAT dumb ass bitch, you are robust, like a DAMN GOOD CUP OF JOE nobody actually enjoys LOW-FAT beverages ya know......

SO IN TRIBUTE TO YOUR IDIOTIC NOTIONS OF LOSING WEIGHT I HAVE DEDICATED THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR ENDEAVOUR................

SOMETIMES LIFE AINT AS SWEET AS IT SHOULD BE, SO GOD INVENTED CAKE.....

YUM YUM...........

HAHAHA..............

LOVE UZ..............

comment

2007-04-23T17:37:00.000+08:00

may all of us bitches get those bad boys with good hearts.. n not be deceived by the good boys with the black hearts

i got a great comment from a friend.............. someone who is right now going through something............ who was a wonderful person as is.... BUT decided, 'as all us girls do' that we dont deserve 'NICE' guys, cause we dont wear tudongs, cause we've had a slighty wild history, that we should change and try to be 'AYU".....

okay maybe some of you cant relate, but Im sure you're not reading this anyways..... hehehe

so yeah, my friend was so ECSTATIC about being with a 'NICE" guy, a 'GOOD' guy........ That she forgot how cool she was herself and decided she had to change.....

why do we always do this.... Instead of waiting for people to judge us, we do it ourselves..... and we decide we are not worthy....its a bit crazy dont you think.......

GOOD AND BAD

2007-04-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

As a Bruneian woman, I have had to endure getting compared to GOOD girls on a regular basis.....

and no matter how we try there is always the underlying tone of condescension.... How a GOOD girl acts, how she will wear a tudong, how she will be covered up..... BUT i think its time for us Bruneians to finally see the truth that you should never judge anyone by their cover......

I am not trying to say that all chicks that r covered up are not good, please dont get me wrong, BUT i have met some ppl along the way that never cease to surprise me.... That no matter how 'AYU' or baik USULNYA...... rupa2nya..... its all an act......

HEY, this is only just WOMEN, even the MEN here.....

They act like we have to prove that we are worthy for them, that the woman must be perfect.... RELIGIOUS, pure and clean history, kalau bulih the less the history the better....

Has anyone ever really looked at what makes a happy marriage, relationship, whatever.... How come we never look at, PERSONALITY, COMPASSION and for me most importantly INTEGRITY....... Lets start looking on the inside of people and stop deciding before they even open their mouths that we dont like them.....

So how about we do this…… You might think that Im the …….. GASP…….

THE DEVIL

And I am a BAD GIRL

But at least im honest, what you SEE is what you GET. ALL I NEED TO SAY NOW, IS FOR THOSE OUT THERE WHO FEEL IM BEING HARSH, THEN UVE NEVER BEEN WHERE IVE BEEN, I SPEAK FROM MY EXPERIENCE AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO UZ CAN ALL JUST....................

HELLO

2007-04-12T07:15:00.000+08:00

This post is especially for YANI............

babe, Im fine, Im sorry Ive disappeared off the face of the planet, but Im finally in a relationship..... its amazing.... SERIOUSLY..... after seven years of bullshit.... Im finally with someone worthwhile..... So now sweetheart, Im as boring as you and monster.... HAHAHA....

Its weird how before I'd wanna tell everyone about the smallest detail, now I dont wanna jinx it... BUT, he's making up for the seven years... I kid you not.....

I finally get to be in a mature relationship.... can you bloody believe it?

I never realised how transparent I am to my family and close friends, Ive heard comments on how I was bitter, a cynic, how everyone saw through my facade.... And I thought I was doing alright GOD DAMN IT....... hahaha, but its great babe....

Hopefully get to visit you people in the near future, and I'll definately bring the bugger along.... Give my love to monsta n tisha......

2007-04-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

I was having a conversation with my most FAVOURITE person in the world just now and she said something that just rang a bell......

"You know how we always said we would never need a man, well maybe cause we never met the right MAN."

AMAZING the amount of crap you come up with while having coffee, but this was so true, I just couldnt ignore it....

Its true I dont need ANY man, but I do WANT this one.....

PMS

2007-04-03T14:23:00.000+08:00

I seriously am PMSing.... for all you women out there you know what Im talking about..... Im annoyed with so many people around me right now....

Even strangers, I need to get a grip..... SERIOUSLY

Im gonna take a deep breath and just gonna let this all go.......... Dont look for problems right????

But yeah, LIFE IS FANTASTIC........ I dont think it could get any better....

Thank you god..... I am thankful for everything.... its amazing....

ainul

2007-03-31T10:13:00.000+08:00

AINUL ........ babe havent heard from in ages

"I forgot you have to accomodate that other person in your life, I think Ive forgotten how to do it..... Make room but not lose yourself... HELLO, once you lose who you used to be, the person that attracted him in the first place is gone.But Its all worth it, RIGHT?"

Its amazing the number of people that read my blog.... hahaha.... Its just a place that i ramble you know....

But its true what ainul says....... Its hard to accomodate the other person in your life.... Well not hard but ultimately, u gotta juggle some stuff around.... and stuff you thought were an essential part of day to day, you realise, arent priorities anymore.....

and i think well maybe cause I was alone, I needed to keep myself busy......

But when uve been single for as long as i have, you kinda have an illusion of MAGIC and background music from your latest romance movie.... HELLO havent heard it yet.... hahaha...

Ive read many many books and many many magazines and articles, you name it, ive read it.... But I will agree to that book...... 'HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU'

believe me its so true.... when the man is into you... you will know... and ive been ovecompensating for years and years, making up excuses, putting in all the effort, one sided affairs.... its almost embarassing, but its the truth

make it easy

2007-03-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

those close to me know that I am a romantic, I read romance novels, I want to be saved by a knight in shining armor........slay them dragons, kill the beasts, feed em to the lions.....

I have been waiting for my day to fall inlove, pathetic? Lets just be honest, ok fine I'll be, den u guys can just pretend that u dont agree.

from the age of 18 onwards, I was so strong in my belief that I would never NEED a man.... NOPE NO WAY NO NEVER.... and the people around agreed. I could succeed without one... blah blah blah....

I hit 25, then I realised something else, I am smart, confident and have had some successes in my life, but then u realise, TICK TOCK TICK TOCK... whats that... my BIO-logical clock.... ah man.... Thats exactly it... oh MAN, a MAN... yes yes feminists are swooning right now, IM sure, so sue me, my blog, my opinion....

But I realised that theres a reason why women are the ones that get pregnant... so that the men can go out and work and provide the finances... roof, clothes, food, blah blah blah. Its simple.... men need women, women need men, no im not ignoring my extra special cases of the same sex relationships, but hey one still takes the role of the man, one takes the role of the woman.... right? right!!!!!

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. Confucius

Style is a simple way of saying complicated things. Jean Cocteau

so back to the topic at hand......

I am a woman, I want to be inlove, be loved, be in a commited relationship..... or so I thought......

Love is the beauty of the soul. Saint Augustine

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. James A. Baldwin

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle

Love that is not madness is not love. Pedro Calderon de la Barca

The best proof of love is trust. Joyce Brothers

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. Leo Buscaglia

But we always forget everything else that comes with LOVE...... Your whole world shifts and then things that never used to bother u r suddenly a big ASS deal.... Like why hasnt he called, what do i do now that hes not around... BODOH kan... and I usually can live day to day by myself.... Yes I have a LIFE!!! But once ure so used to being single for so long, you do what you have to do to survive.....

I forgot you have to accomodate that other person in your life, I think Ive forgotten how to do it..... Make room but not lose yourself... HELLO, once you lose who you used to be, the person that attracted him in the first place is gone. But Its all worth it, RIGHT?

the greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain

love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust

2007-03-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

FAIR????

To all the men who will enjoy reading it, and to all the women whocan handle it:

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE ????

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too dirty.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress costs $1500. A Tux rental is only $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

You have one mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

You need only one wallet and one pair of shoes.

You want only one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look!

You can "do" your nails with a penknife.

You?have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You don't freak out when you go to a party and see anotherman wearing the same shirt, instead you become buddies.

No WONDER men are happier...

2007-03-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

25 Reasons Why You Should Start Drinking Green Tea Now

Green tea has increasingly become a very popular drink worldwide because of its immensely powerful health benefits. It is extraordinarily amazing what green tea can do for your health. And if you're not drinking 3 to 4 cups of green tea today, you're definitely NOT doing your health a big favor.

Here Are The 25 Reasons Why You Should Start Drinking Green Tea Right Now:

1. Green Tea and Cancer Green tea helps reduce the risk of cancer. The antioxidant in green tea is 100 times more effective than vitamin C and 25 times better than vitamin E. This helps your body at protecting cells from damage believed to be linked to cancer.

2. Green Tea and Heart Disease Green tea helps prevent heart disease and stroke by lowering the level of cholesterol. Even after the heart attack, it prevents cell deaths and speeds up the recovery of heart cells.

3. Green Tea and Anti-Aging Green tea contains antioxidant known as polyphenols which fight against free radicals. What this means it helps you fight against aging and promotes longevity.

4. Green Tea and Weight Loss Green tea helps with your body weight loss. Green tea burns fat and boosts your metabolism rate naturally. It can help you burn up to 70 calories in just one day. That translates to 7 pounds in one year.

5. Green Tea and Skin Antioxidant in green tea protects the skin from the harmful effects of free radicals, which cause wrinkling and skin aging. Green tea also helps fight against skin cancer.

6. Green Tea and Arthritis Green tea can help prevent and reduce the risk of rheumatoid arthritis. Green tea has benefit for your health as it protects the cartilage by blocking the enzyme that destroys cartilage.

7. Green Tea and Bones The very key to this is high fluoride content found in green tea. It helps keep your bones strong. If you drink green tea every day, this will help you preserve your bone density.

8. Green Tea and Cholesterol Green tea can help lower cholesterol level. It also improves the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol, by reducing bad cholesterol level.

9. Green Tea and Obesity Green tea prevents obesity by stopping the movement of glucose in fat cells. If you are on a healthy diet, exercise regularly and drink green tea, it is unlikely you'll be obese.

10. Green Tea and Diabetes Green tea improves lipid and glucose metabolisms, prevents sharp increases in blood sugar level, and balances your metabolism rate.

11. Green Tea and Alzheimer's Green tea helps boost your memory. And although there's no cure for Alzheimer's, it helps slow the process of reduced acetylcholine in the brain, which leads to Alzheimer's.

12. Green Tea and Parkinson's Antioxidants in green tea helps prevent against cell damage in the brain, which could cause Parkinson's. People drinking green tea also are less likely to progress with Parkinson's.

13. Green Tea and Liver Disease Green tea helps prevent transplant failure in people with liver failure. Researches showed that green tea destroys harmful free radicals in fatty livers.

14. Green Tea and High Blood Pressure Green tea helps prevent high blood pressure. Drinking green tea helps keep your blood pressure down by repressing angiotensin, which leads to high blood pressure.

15. Green Tea and Food Poisoning Catechin found in green tea can kill bacteria which causes food poisoning and kills the toxins produced by those bacteria.

16. Green Tea and Blood Sugar Blood sugar tends to increase with age, but polyphenols and polysaccharides in green tea help lower your blood sugar level.

17. Green Tea and Immunity Polyphenols and flavenoids found in green tea help boost your immune system, making your health stronger in fighting against infections.

18. Green Tea and Cold and Flu Green tea prevents you from getting a cold or flu. Vitamin C in green tea helps you treat the flu and the common cold.

19. Green Tea and Asthma Theophylline in green tea relaxes the muscles which support the bronchial tubes, reducing the severity of asthma.

20. Green Tea and Ear Infection Green tea helps with ear infection problem. For natural ear cleaning, soak a cutton ball in green tea and clean the infected ear.

21. Green Tea and Herpes Green tea increases the effectiveness of topical interferon treatment of herpes. First green tea compress is applied, and then let the skin dry before the interferon treatment.

22. Green Tea and Tooth Decay Green tea destroys bacteria and viruses that cause many dental diseases. It also slows the growth of bacteria which leads to bad breath.

23. Green Tea and Stress L-theanine, which is a kind of amino acids in green tea, can help relieve stress and anxiety

24. Green Tea and Allergies EGCG found in green tea relieves allergies. So, if you have allergies, you should really consider drinking green tea.

25. Green Tea and HIV Scientists in Japan have found that EGCG (Epigallocatechin Gallate) in green tea can stop HIV from binding to healthy immune cells. What this means is that green tea can help stop the HIV virus from spreading.

Now, your health is in your hands. You know you're smart. So, start drinking three to four cups of green tea every day for a drug-free and healthier YOU!

Pursuit of Happiness

2007-03-11T14:11:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, starring Will Smith and his son Jaden

Once in a while we get movies that makes us realise how much we dont appreciate our own lives, we're always so caught up in the how bad my life is, etc, etc, etc....... And we always forget to appreciate what we have already.

Anybody watch CLICK? Being an Adam Sandler movie, I though yeah, cool, something lighthearted and funny. YAY.... Surprise surprise.... Hey it was between that or LAKEHOUSE, if u hadnt read any of the reviews and u just saw this.....

of course ud pick.....CLICK right, right?

Anyways, movies like this I love cause you realise so many things, like with PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, this was my mum... she would sacrifice everything for her children, as long as we were happy she would be you know. Growing up this way, I stupidly thought that everybody else was this fortunate. My late dad, yes he wasnt perfect, but he would not allow anyone, and I mean ANYONE to come between him and his children, someone told him not to see his kids, they better watch out. And eventhough he didnt know how to show love or communicate, hello he was malay, bruneian and from tutong..... He did what he could. and what I used to think was not enough, is actually ALOT more then what 50% of the world has.

Mr Pablo, from (http://world-of-pablo.blogspot.com/), who is actually a dear dear relative of mine, said that we should try to share our experiences, we might be able to help someone that way. So here goes.

If you havent already noticed, a man having more then one wife is now sadly the norm here. And many of us have brothers and sisters from different mothers. OK fine if you guys dont i definately do.

In some cases our parents try to prolong the misery by staying together for the childrens sake. Not realising that by staying together, their constant fighting, bickering, the tension, affects the kids more then a divorce would. The stress of staying together makes you guys worse parents. Hey Im not saying give up, but make a concious effort to work it out, not just ignore ignore ignore as always happens. Kelahi, ignore, kelahi ignore, MAU CHA BAIK TU YO. During this whole process you guys are so busy trying to kill each other that we usually get forgotten.... DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Im glad my parents did get divorced. It was a bit WWF in the house ya know....

I digress.....

ok, my point is... HAPPINESS.... If someone asked me what made me happy? what would I say? what would you say?

How about, have you ever been truly truly happy ever?????

Or one moment in your life that you can truthfully say to urself, yup I am happy, I was happy, I will be happy..... Atu banyak lah, I will be happy if, but I think thats our problem. How about we start thinking about and appreciating what we already have.....

OK I'LL START......

ONE MOMENT TODAY (OR YESTERDAY)

1. YOU'VE BEEN REALLY HAPPY

2. YOU'VE TRULY TRULY LAUGHED

3. YOU'VE REALLY REALLY SMILED

4. THAT U R REALLY THANKFUL FOR ( THIS ONE CAN BE MORE THAN 1)

Once youve done this, mebe you and me both will start feeling happier about where we r in life, even though some of us maybe going through a rough patch.......

everything has a reason I always say.....

THINK ABOUT IT

2007-03-10T12:43:00.000+08:00

Me n my cousins did something really crazy the other day.......

But will blog about it later

2007-03-07T21:21:00.001+08:00

Im going through a rocky patch right now.... but you know when words just elude you, you might as well surf for some good quotes..........

Sholom Aleichem:
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you

Elbert Hubbard:
Life is just one damned thing after another.

John Lennon:
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Robert Frost:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

and why do we always have to be in constant search of LOVE.... its always like that isnt it......

C.S. Lewis:
Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone.

Robert Heinlein:
Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Ann Landers:
If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

C.S. Lewis:
Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone.

Don Byas:
You call it madness, but I call it love.

Felix Adler:
Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other.

Francis David:
We need not think alike to love alike.

Franklin P. Jones:
Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile

normality

2007-03-06T09:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday someone asked me how the wedding was,and i replied truthfully, its was

WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, IM GLAD ITS OVER, IM SAD WE'RE DONE, HAPPY, FUN, FRUSTRATING, BAGI MARAH, SASAK, SIOK, NGALIH, EXCITING.....

but basically we all felt those emotions, from being really tired and irritable to crying tears of joy. I guess all weddings are like this.

You truly gain so much from weddings, the family got close again, we joked argued, smiled, fought, gossiped bout each other behind their backs, loved, hated all togeder-geder you know.

But it also reminded me how beautiful our culture truly is, from ami ali carrying jenny to the pelamin, to nini uncu throwing 'beras kuning' before allowing ridha to enter the house.

I recently discovered that the HADRAH boys, one from the girls side one from the boys, they meet upon the day of the bersanding. and what happens is the hadrah from the boys side start playing first, as soon as they do that the ones from the girl's side will play a different song.then whoever loses the beat first LOSES.... Thats what i would call a BATTLE!!!!! We the original 8MILE.... hahaha

2007-03-05T13:29:00.000+08:00

has been a very busy week.... Jenny got married.... and since the other bloggers have done sucha fantastic job, I jus have to link u guys..... great ah.... so if u wanna see some pictures, please go to

http://world-of-pablo.blogspot.com/,
http://www.whatibought2day.blogspot.com/
http://emmagoodegg.blogs.com/,
http://bruneiforever.org/,
http://ranoadidas.com/,
http://anakbrunei.blogspot.com/,
http://zadm.blogspot.com/,
http://ucingitam.blogspot.com/

im trying to get some of the pics off these guys.....

Alot of you out there keep saying it was a 'CELEBRITY WEDDING' you know what seriously made it a celebrity wedding is all you wonderful bloggers out there.... MY FAMILY cannot thank you enough, thank you for making the wedding extra special. Thank you for giving Jenny the recognition she deserves. Cause she sometimes feels that she isnt a celebrity, but she is isnt she......

Thank you to all the boys from the studio, without you we wouldnt have had any entertainment at all..... or any sound...

NIKAH

2007-03-03T09:30:00.000+08:00

RIDHA NERVOUS EH..... I heard his hands were COLD brabis
the three sisters.......
this is the coolest antaran man.... jennifer u rock eh......

mandi belawat

2007-03-02T09:15:00.000+08:00

SO HERE ARE SOME QUICK PICTURES OF JENNY'S BEDAK MANDI......

WILL UPLOAD MORE LATER( taken by my cousin bang ryzel)

the meeting

2007-02-26T09:47:00.000+08:00

so we had a meeting/briefing...... man my family really likes meetings....... and they really love the sound of their own voices.... goddamn it eh......

behind the scenes

2007-02-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

the pay-la-mine

2007-02-25T03:59:00.000+08:00

today ladies and gentlemen we will be looking at the setting up of jenny's pelamin, happened on saturday, 24th feb 2007

im back

2007-02-23T15:48:00.000+08:00

Im back in Brunei.... was too short of atrip this time round in singapore.... Mebe cause i didnt get to go shopping that much... hahaha... i love my shopping..... hahaha.......

So now back to the hustle and bustle of life here. Well its Brunei, not much hustle or bustle, but since Jennys wedding is coming up I guess im gonna be busy..... I can feel the climax building up....

Another thing is that, ProjecTunes has got some more recording and releasing to do. I was so surprised to hear the comments of so many people with our new stuff, its so inspiring.... inspiring and motivating us to actually get our asses into gear.... Bruneians actually wanna hear our stuff... what... even buy it... WOW. So thats in the near near future I hope....

But I was saddened to hear some really negative comments, I guess some people just arent happy unless they bring everyone else down... and SHE is a friend.... I wont mention names, but its a SHE.... ku pikir ia ani kawan... ani kan membunuh kami terpulang..... I feel like I wanna.....

AND SHAKE YOU, WHILE ASKING 'APA MASALAH MU ANIKAN, MACAMTAH KO LAWA JUA, MACAMTAH KO NDA FUCKED UP BERABIS, YANG KO KAN KACAU HIDUP ORANG!!!!'

oh well... nevermind. You not gonna bring us down. one voice in the midst of many will not be given the power!!!!!

we gonna keep doing what we be doing negrew.... u aint bringing us down. and next time i see u, U wont realise that I am hating u inside, and I will be extra extra nice, so that I can find out something u dont want me to find out and dont worry I will use it to my advantage.

ok fine, maybe not, but I feel better now. I wish you all the best.... cause with the way u be acting, you aint getting no where quick.... good luck cause u'll be lying in our dust and wondering what happened......

good vibrations

2007-02-21T02:53:00.000+08:00

Good Vibrations Festival, man, was FANTASTIC, the energy, the environment..... I loved it!!!!RAMAIkan..... ok fine, hello im BRUNEIAN!!!! We usually dont have anything like this back home. everyone was dancing and just having a really good time, it helps that there was heaps and heaps of alchohol, but hey.... hehehe... everyone was having a good time..... surprise surprise, mana ada orang bekelahi.... unbloodybelievable people were drinking, having a great time and nobody was fighting......

yasz me and nas

So this time round, I got to meet Yasz's cousin Nas, who drove down all the way from KL. Nice guy..... Another LIBRA!!!!! 8th October. PATUTTAH GENG! hahaha But you know what i realised......

my cousin is really goodlooking

so is yasz's cousin

so yasz we should seriously think about pooling our resources, and selling the both of them... make lotsa money babe. hahaha

i finally have a picture with YANI.... yay!!!!!!

Got to hang out with some really cool people........

bored

2007-02-19T12:50:00.000+08:00

Im such a dumb ass..... after spending the whole night in between packing, transfering all my stuff from my old laptop to my new 120GB hard drive so I can transfer it to my new laptop.... what do I do, I leave it in BRUNEI.... TALUR tah banar!!!! So ive had to download stuff off the net, even songs and stuff cause i so have nothing better to do... HELLO all the shops are closed, I dont have a car.... blah blah blah

Went to ZOUK last night to watch FATMAN SCOOP... wat a bloody disappointment... all he did was play 20 secs of each song.... Mebe if he had started earlier... Im not saying i didnt EN-JOY.... but ud start dancing n den, he stops the music. ok fine mebe i dont have the right frame of mind and my feet were killing me.....

oh oh... found another fantatsic blog.......... http://absolutcrudites.blogspot.com/ its so gross, chockful of the swear words, and rude words... so rude and crude.... I LOVE IT....

they even have a DICTIONARY. Amazing eh hehehe....... go read it... tapi if any of uz yg inda tahan reading shocking stuff janganlah.... (eksen tu krg, dbaca jua, tapi i wont tell anyone.... shhhhhh)

Im waiting for bloody yasz, syaheed, nas to turn up..... BITCHES take so bloody long..... hahaha.............. so we can go to

heres hoping its good........

AMAZING

2007-02-17T10:16:00.000+08:00

just read http://memoirsofapoklen.com, their latest post is so funny. You gotta check it out. But I agree with the names dudes. the kids nowadays man their teachers have to take a major in deciphering complicated names and how to pronounce them. Its a bit crazy. Does it mean that if u have more then 5 names before your dads name ure cool? Hello, the parents wanted those names for themselves.....

But apart from really long ass names, has anyone noticed the lack of respect these kids have for their elders.... MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN. In the words of RUSSELL PETERS, just hit your kids. OK OK, Im not talking bout child abuse people, RELAX!!!!! But we all were hit growing up and it scared the shit out of us... kana maraki mata ja, diam tarus kali ah, cause we knew we were so gonna get it at home..... and thats all part of discipline, jus smack em on their hands, or raise ur voice, I prefer to put disobedient kids in a corner, face em to the wall, and ignore them....... PS make sure ure doing something really fun so they feel they missing out. hahaha....

Some kids are really great, but some seriously, they need a little....... well u know what i mean...

kids in school pun, they r not allowed to be punished... AT ALL... so they dont learn anything they jus do what they wanna do..... its crazy.... We all look back and laugh when we think bout what we used to go through in our childhood....

HELLO... you are looking at the master of the 'featherduster tap dance'.... you all know it...

you know when ur mum loses it takes out the bulu ayam and starts trying to hit ur feet... and remember trying to avoid it... hahaha... thats what im talking about... hahaha.... the featherduster tap dance....

CUPID

2007-02-16T11:22:00.000+08:00

VALENTINES DAY....... The day where lovers and couples hold hands and have dinner and express there undying love for each other..... Inevitably, everyone will receive roses, chocolates, teddy bears, blah blah blah......

Alot of us always associate LOVE with cupid. Songs, poems, novels even research papers mention either LOVE or CUPID himself...... Mr Matchmaker extraodinaire....But did ever hear of PSYCHE... man even Cupid wants to get it on kali ah.... Kesian la, imagine, years and years hes in charge of getting people together, watching people fall inlove so they also can GET IT ON!!!! But not to worry, he himself is selfish sometimes.....

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAA......

Psyche's quest to win back Cupid's love when it is lost to her first appears in The Golden Ass of Lucius Apuleius in the 2nd century AD. Psyche is a princess so beautiful that the goddess Venus becomes jealous. In revenge, she instructs her son Cupid to make her fall in love with a hideous monster; but instead he falls in love with her himself. He becomes her unseen husband, visiting her only at night. Psyche disobeys his orders not to attempt to look at him, and in doing so she loses him. In her search for him she undertakes a series of cruel and difficult tasks set by Venus in the hope of winning him back. Cupid can eventually no longer bear to witness her suffering or to be apart from her and pleads their cause to the gods. Psyche becomes an immortal and the lovers are married in heaven

ON THE FLIP SIDE

What do us singletons do on VALENTINES DAY, or as we like to say V-Day, ok fine, HAPPY VD people. THat was funny what... being purile and immature is part of humor too lah. Anyways....

Id like to thank my friends, married, with boyfriends, girlfriends... They always make us feel alot better by saying, VALENTINES is for everyone, LOVE for ur friends and family too, den they leave us at home so they can go on their dates... hahaha.... I am not griping, its just funny....

Me and Denise from RAINFOREST GALLERY, (she got some really kewl jewellry, murah somemore) were laughing bout it yesterday. Hehehe. How if u dont go out as a couple, you go out as a group to laugh at these couples.... But some of these couples really make such effort to go out and 'CELEBRATE' their love, tapi they spend more time talking to the waiter then to each other..... what would u do in that situation?

But yeah I spent VALENTINES DAY alone at home watching DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.... Whatever, I had a good time......

PS: go check out RAINFOREST GALLERY, the accessories there are beautiful and AFFORDABLE, and if u wanna take some painting lessons can also and they sell art supplies too. Just go up the staircase next to MAMIH d Qlap. Turn right at the very top, its the 3rd shop I think. Go check it out......

TEMPLATE

2007-02-12T09:45:00.000+08:00

the past few days been trying to do research bout HTMLing my blog, changing the template, blah blah blah..... payah beh.... Its all so confusing... funny shit.....

So im guessing I wont be posting anything proper until i get this down....

pc or mac

2007-02-09T15:28:00.000+08:00

one of the questions that everyone wonders about... PC or MAC.... MAC users will always push for their power books G4 la, G apa la..... But I will stay faithful to my PC... hehehe, cause im too bloody lazy to belajar how to use the MAC.... but damn its pretty and that u very rarely do u get viruses.... hmmm... But you cant use so many programs that U normally use on the pc.... So thats my take on the whole issue....

So I have to replace my acer aspire 5560.... sorry baby but my brother wants you now... and Ive been looking at this....

CHENG CHENG CHENG

the dell XPS 1210

but this baby looks cool too.... but mahal beh and i heard its a difficult to use... OH WELL....

lemme introduce the new man in my life......

The Dell XPS M1210 is a new 12.1-inch screen portable laptop that features the Intel Core Duo processor, rotating 1.3MP web camera, built-in EVDO and an nVidia Go 7400 graphics card.

Dell XPS M1210 Specs (bolded blue options indicate review unit config where appropriate):
Processor Options:
Intel Core Duo Processor T2600 (2.16GHz/667MHz FSB/2MB Cache)
Intel Core Duo Processor T2500 (2GHz/667MHz FSB/2MB Cache)
Intel Core Duo Processor T2400 (1.83GHz/667MHz FSB/2MB Cache)
Intel Core Duo Processor T2300E (1.66GHz/667MHz FSB/2MB Cache)
Screen: 12.1" WXGA (Widescreen 1280x800) display with TrueLife (glossy display)
Memory Options: 512MB - 4GB (667MHz DDR2 SDRAM) (1.00GB in review unit)
Hard drive: 60GB - 120GB @ 5400 RPM or 60GB - 100GB @ 7200RPM (100GB @ 7200RPM hard drive in review unit)
Video Graphics Options:
Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 950 (with up to 256MB of shared memory)
256MB NVIDIA GeForce Go 7400 TurboCache (64MB/ up to 192MB shared)
Optical Drive Options: DVD/CD-RW Combo, DVD+/-RW with Dual Layer DVD+R write capacity
Battery Options: 6-cell 53WHr Li-Ion Battery, 9-cell 80WHr Li-Ion Battery
Wi-Fi Options: Dell Wireless 1390 802.11g Mini Card Wireless, Dell Wireless 1490 802.11a/g Mini Card Wireless, Intel Pro/Wireless 3945 802.11 a/b/g Mini Card
Bluetooth built-in
Wide Area Network / Cell Communication Options
Dell Wireless 5700 Mobile Broadband (CDMA EVDO) Mini-Card for Verizon Wireless service
Dell Wireless 5500 Mobile Broadband (3G HSDPA) Mini-Card for Cingular service
Ports and Slots: ExpressCard 54, 5-in-1 Memory Card Reader, Dual headphone jacks, VGA video output & S-Video with SPDIF & component video via S-Video dongle, IEEE 1394 (Firewire), 4 USB 2.0, Optional A/V Communications Package including: integrated 1.3 mega pixel rotating web cam, directional microphone, modem, ethernet,
Premium noise isolation ear buds included when AV Communication option is selected
Operating System Options: Microsoft Windows XP Home, Microsoft Windows XP Media Center Edition 2005, Microsoft Windows XP Professional
Media Direct software installed for quick boot up to play movies, music and view photos on your hard drive, optical drive or external storage devices
Weight: Starting at 4.4lbs with 6-cell Li-Ion battery
Dimensions: Depth 220.98 mm (8.7 inches) 11.7-inches x 8.7-inches x 1.2-inches (W x D x H)

some crap and jargon... i jus think its really pretty and that its small and well i just like it.... hehehe

thursday

2007-02-08T13:31:00.000+08:00

as i was driving on the highway yesterday, you know the bit after gdg, to go to tungku, if u go straight go to the airport. This white corona on my left, swerves in front of me, GOOD THING i braked, almost hit me, the idiot....

then whover the hell he is he decides that hes gonna move to the next lane g.... so that he can go straight to the direction of the airport... swerve ia lagi... and he sideswips this car...

BEST BIT

BULIH!!!! he doesnt even stop... bulih ia continue ja ok lah, ada ia terbrake DIKIT, just to pause n say, "eh, terkana............." and zooms off... WHAT THE HELL... gila jua tu.

survey time:

WHOS WORSE

1. Mr Haji man in the white kijang, yang don give a shit, pasal ketanya buruk dah so another hit doesnt make a difference

2. The really careful WOMAN (aka luan careful memberi sakit ati) careful tapi nda check blindspot, arah traffic light brake mengajut.... or mebe ia gigiran so terbrake terbrake as part of her gigiran YO.......

3. Orang baru dapat lesen, prasaan handal tapi INDA!!!!

AND knapa kamu semua nda handal pakai ROUNDABOUT d kiulap atukan... tell me what happens... as soon as u reach it, everything uve ever learnt flies out the window, common sense and roundabout doesnt MIX. maaaaaaannnnnnn............

We finally released our first single with two upcoming artists, Azeem and njae... watch out folks they the way forward, they gonna rock your socks, handle your candles and everything else.....

projectunes

-music reinvented-

Thanks Syaheed, the program really worked wonders.......

Yasz I be working on the song some more later.... ayte.... (I need to use my ebonics, cause they dont fully grasp the meaning unless i do) yo yo wassup, wassguuuddd, ghetto, homeboy, homies inthe cell.... yo yo yo

payah jua eh..... hehehe....

ITS ALL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD.............

jus a thought

2007-02-06T12:12:00.000+08:00

as im sitting here, well lying on my bed, enjoying my cigarette of the hour, yes MR PRODUCER, Im still smoking so us getting married not gonna happen......... hahaha

was just scrolling through my msn contacts... its amazing how many different ways we try to relay how we feel through our little msgs, well some arent that little... some r bloody long... hey i dont think i could ever sound as smart or creative, lately my creativity is a bit nonexistant........ and i still havent mastered the skill of using my thesaurus as well as some of uz out der....

but it got me thinking, u ever seen those 'PUNKS' walking around the mall...... hey I salute how brave u guys r... I wouldnt leave my house looking like dat. One thing though... U know how u 'PUNKS' out der have those tshirts promoting NAZis and such... Do u actually realise that the whole thing was about how one race was superior to the rest of us? HELLO....... I dont really see many asian nazis... did they even exist back then... ok fine the Japanese were in cahoots wth the whiteys but....... they still werent known as nazis.. wait a minute, im gonna have to research this before I make a fool of myself.......... hehehe... I have a point but will make it in a later post..........

see, u shouldnt try to act smarter then u r.... then the above happens...... hehehe

must rectify this later

PS JENNY AGREES WITH ME, PAULA U R AGRO SOMETIMES... hahaha...... Im glad to see u finally know how to use ur google chat thingymabob.... congratulations... but SERIOUSLY 545am.... i was asleep

pressure

2007-02-06T02:06:00.000+08:00

I never realised how many GOOD blogs are out there.... You must must read memoirs of a poklen.... the addie is http://memoirsofapoklen.blogspot.com if u have time go check it out. If you dont have time go make some. Especially if you bruneian... whoever Ziq and Maya are... you guys ROCK man.... Now I dont have to rack my brain when people ask me bout Bruneians... Well the whole blog says alot about bruneian humor... and how BITCHIN' is part of our culture, but at least Ziq and Maya have made it readable, they are the poklen experts of the millenium.

(if u wanna know what POKLEN means.... go read the blog)

OK fine, alot of it is their opinion, but alot of people do agree what, although silently, they have just put into words what alot of us have thought for ages. Funny shit....

So yeah, had the opportunity to sit with someone who wants to put an end to piracy in Brunei. Good luck dude.... And it was really refreshing to actually get a lecture about how kedai communist is a haven for thieves. Considering u used to go der urself... hehehe....Are you sure you Bruneian... Amazing how many different arguments he had to get his point across.... But Im sure he had his own motive.... You would think hes gonna start selling original DVDs or something.... hehehe.... Dude, you do know that alot of tourists look forward to visiting our fake HMV.... we're actually very well known for it... That, oil and young girls that sell themselves for $20 recharge cards, oh yeah and our rainforests....

WEDDINGS

How many of you actually go to weddings? Seriously, For those who dont have families yet or are still unmarried, unless its a friend, u really cant be arsed to go to your aunty's anak buah punya laki's biras's nini's cousin twice removed's son's wedding..... The argument is always, 'jangan catu lai, karang udah ko kahwin nada orang mau datang!' Im thinking thats OK what, I dont know them, they dont know me, save me alotta money what.... hehehe... Why is there so much emphasis on one moment in a couples life, oh oh, you mean if we take out a loan and spend enough to buy two houses on fancy schmancy baju and pelamin and food and GIFTS then my husband will never ever stray and we will live happily ever after.... really? OK DEN...

one of my friends is still paying off the loan he took out to pay for his wedding, and he is now divorced..... COOL rite.....

and I wouldnt wanna keep those makciks from making their very KATOKed bajus and when else can they wear their jewelry.... kesian jua tu.... I mean hello, HIGHLIGHT kaliah..... The hustle and the bustle of making baju, and make sure enough kain for their anak, mesti matching kali ah, kalau inda they wont be able to recognise them.... hehehe....

But the BEST bit is, no its not when the bride and groom come out to say hi under the archway yg kan gugur luan banyak bunga plastic... Its when these wonderful makciks whip out der little plastics so they can tapau the food, its like, can u at least wait until kami we actually taken some of it first, udahtah they eating for free, rangka lagitu, well im not saying the food is that great... tapi apakan, we have to make sure we have enough rations kah? some of them dont need the extra food what... ok im sorry... advice to wedding planners, please dont provide gifts that dont fit the terima kasih plastic properly, any extra space can be used to fit grapes, oranges or kuih.... I

m not making this shit up, I dont know where to look sometimes, you'd think if they can afford the 10 solid gold bracelets around both their wrists, the numerous rings on their fingers and the many many necklaces they wear at the same time.... not forgetting the bruneian version of bling, the heavy ass wapaks, some of them bigger then the kids wearing them, kesian u know, the kids just wanna run around and play... at least they'll have really strong necks im thinking so they can eventually elevate them selves to the multi-necklace trend that u must follow once u older... all in the name of good training i say....

Next time you at a wedding, or panggilan..... after everyone starts eating, look at your watches, its the race of wiggle wiggle, fuss fuss, fidget fidget....... on your marks get set gooooooooo... siapa paling laju get up and go.... I mean, youve got your present, plus as many others as u can get off the people giving them away at the entrance, "anak ku lagi lai drumah, c anu, yg nda dapat dtg", given your $2 in the envelope left over from hari raya, or the one youve specially printed with your name, even though nda jua banyak isinya.... tapaued some food... go home la ah.... you deserve it, it must be tiring to lug all that around, plus the jewerly, the KATOK on your baju, the effort you made on your hair (saloon with some chinese name) or tudong, cause u r a religious woman to the maximal.... and all that bitching and telling story.... aiyo... u need your rest....

Im thinking ive made enough effort on my post.... happy now RANO... pressure wa.... I should have made up a fake blog name la.... hahaha

ITS ALL GOOD...........

NEW GENERATION

2007-02-05T09:56:00.000+08:00

AS PROMISED, PICTURES FROM ZARA's BIRTHDAY PARTY YESTERDAY....

paula, alfie and sofiya are bang ryzels kids... wafiy is bang jops son....

Me and czarena decided that we were gonna take our 'anak buah' out yesterday... every single time it wears me out, I dunno how parents do it... hahaha.... me n czarena were so tired.....

But i love buying clothes for kids, they so cute, I didnt really get a chance to wen my two nieces were growing up.... mebe cause they were always TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big for their age.... (if u know what i mean)

Im sorry.... just being honest.....

but yeah... baby cons r damn cute.....

whining.........

2007-02-03T16:31:00.000+08:00

SERIOUSLY PAULZ?

I have reread my posts, yes some maybe a bit melodramatic... but whining? come on.... SERIOUSLY.....

I dont think so.... hahaha... u ah.... just picking fight la.... wait a minute, ok fine... YES im going through a seperation with this whole cigarette thing ayte.... something thats been with me for 12 years.... hahaha

But today has been an ok day wat.... apart from the fact that someone says i whine... I hate that word.... why do i hate that word? cause its true i do whine... damn it...

Im not gonna whine la.... mebe complain once in a while... hehehehe....

Paula so AGRO.... hahaha

anyways, we be working on the studio tonight... hahaha, I downloaded some chords from the internet... cant be that hard considering i used to play piano as a kid.... well ok fine its gonna be a trial, but im gonna give it a shot.....

Its so weird that I don have a gig coming up.... but am taking that all in stride....

Has anyone noticed that everything usually comes full circle.... well in a way...

I started with hans and asif and now they back in my life........

Ka racheal has now got an offer to work in KL for a while.... thats where she started

And paula is back in Singapore.... Weird.........

Think about it........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CZARENA

2007-02-03T10:04:00.000+08:00

IM GUILTY AS HELL........ I know its late sweetheart... Im sorry...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CZARENA........

it was on the first....

you still my favourite person in the whole world, universe, galaxy.............

love u

saturday

2007-02-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

i am so lazy..... wats my problem.... I seriously need to get some motivation... this sucks ass man... I hate this feeling....

How is it some people can just make a decision and stick with it... huh... tell me this can or not.... right now im trying to focus on the slowing down of the smoking business......

Next step is to actually get my ass into a gym... hello.... weight loss is not magic.....

I downloaded this book.... from burnthefat.com.... Yasz if it works tou better download it too boi..... hahaha....

well another day, another dollar... wat a load of crap.... hahaha..... another day another internal war in my head more like it....

ok, seriously must go to work today........